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By Dr. Margaret Paul February 11, 2019 It is profoundly healing when another is able to deeply understand and empathize with our core painful feelings. In 1961, author Robert A. Heinlein coined the term “grok” in his best-selling book, “Stranger in a Strange Land”. The Oxford English Dictionary defines grok as “to . . . → Read More: The Power of Being “Grokked” Get clear on when it’s appropriate to speak up for yourself and when it isn’t. Are you confused about if and when to speak up for yourself? The question to ask yourself is: “Are you speaking up for yourself to take loving care of yourself, or to change the other person?” For example, let’s . . . → Read More: When and Why to Speak Up For Yourself Your spiritual guidance is always here for you, but you need to know how to access it. Connecting with Spirit is simple, but not always easy. What if you knew that you are never alone – that you are always being guided by a personal source of spiritual guidance? If you knew and experienced . . . → Read More: What if You Knew That You Are Never Alone? Is sex mostly gone out of your relationship? There are always good reasons for this. Do you identify with Lawrence, whose wife won’t have sex with him? In my work with individuals and couples, I often hear this complaint. Lawrence asks: “Would you please address how one deals with the anger, frustration, hurt, etc., . . . → Read More: “My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me “ Do you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work!
Leslie asks:
“When I approach my partner to address an issue, he only sees me as controlling and creating ‘controversy’. He can barely stand in the room for more than a minute…and it ALWAYS escalates into a big frustrating fight. It seems IMPOSSIBLE to deal with any issues with this man. What do you suggest?” Leslie, I suggest that, instead of discounting what your partner says about you being controlling, you go inside and be honest with yourself regarding your intent. Are you certain that when you address an issue with your partner you are truly open to learning about his very good reasons for doing what he does and about why it is upsetting to you, or are you trying to get him to change? If you are trying to get him to change, then this is why he sees you as controlling. The fact that it always escalates into a big fight leads me to believe that you are trying to control rather than learn. If you were truly wanting to learn, then if he became resistant or agitated, you would move into an intent to learn about why he was feelings this way, or you would disengage rather than fight. Continue reading The Challenge of Conflict       Are you stuck in your relationship not being able to talk about sex, or getting into power struggles about sex?
Sean wrote in the following question on one of my free webinars about sexuality: “My wife and I have been married now for eighteen years and for the most part are still very happy together. A year or so ago a friend introduced us to Inner Bonding and both together and alone we have become familiar with the Six Steps. My question for you this evening is, what suggestions do have to help us communicate our sexual needs and desires without so much defensiveness and judgments? Our wounded selves have a powerful dynamic in these regards so fear, of course, enters in with its control/protect mode. And so the dance continues…” Continue reading How to Talk about Sex |
 Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette |
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