Do you fear feeling happy because of the pain that might follow?
I’m certain that if someone asked you if you want to be happy, you would say “Yes, of course!” Yet research indicates that many people have a fear of happiness. Anna North, in an article entitled “Beware of Joy”, states that, “Fear of happiness is that creeping feeling that you shouldn’t get too comfortable, because something bad is bound to happen.”
I wouldn’t call this a fear of happiness. I would call it a fear of pain. It’s not the happiness that people want to avoid, but the pain that they fear will follow it.
The article goes on to state that, “At Scientific American, Tori Rodriguez looks at the downsides of fear of happiness: Continue reading Do You Fear Happiness?
Discover when compromise is healthy and when it’s self-abandoning.
Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity?
When you think about compromising, what are . . . → Read More: When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise
If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.
Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it’s likely in spite of being hard on yourself, not because of it.
Many of us grew up with parents and teachers who believed that being hard on us was the way to motivate us. As children, we absorbed their judgments of us and became strict taskmasters with ourselves.
Are you aware of the negative consequences of being hard on yourself? Continue reading Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead
“The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch
“How can I get this pain to go away?”
This is often what clients who seek my help ask me in a first session. Because they have never learned to manage and learn from their pain, they want to avoid it, eliminate it – find a way to hide from it.
The problem is that they have been unsuccessfully hiding from their pain for years by abandoning themselves – by staying focused in their head rather than their body, hoping that if they avoid feeling their feelings, the feelings will go away. They have been judging their feelings and turning to various addictions for the same reason.
When trouble comes, which it inevitably does, they intensify their avoidance of their feelings. Continue reading Are You Hiding?