Dr. Margaret Paul, co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, the SelfQuest
self-healing software program and also the author/co-author of several best-selling books.
Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, public speaker, seminar leader, consultant, facilitator, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars for over 42 years.
I received the following email from someone who had read one of my articles:
“One topic that I feel that I haven’t seen covered much is the issue of body-image related stress, anxiety, and insecurity, and how to fight it. We all age. Personally, I am 27 years old, and rapidly going from a handsome full-headed young man to a completely bald individual in a very looks-dependent society. This process has been devastating to my mental well being in the last 3 years. However much I tell myself that I am in control of how I feel about myself, I cannot rid myself of the fear of never finding the right woman because of a lack of initial attraction on their part.”
There are two ways that we can define our worth: externally or internally. As long as your worth is defined by your looks or your performance, aging will create stress. Telling yourself that you are in control of how you feel about yourself is not going to change the fact that you are defining your worth externally.
Leah called me for a phone session because she was menopausal and was having a very hard time losing weight. She had gained 12 pounds and was unhappy about it.
“Everything I used to do doesn’t work anymore,” she told me. “I used to be able to cut back on my food for a few days or a week and lose 5 pounds. Now nothing happens. Even with exercise. I don’t know what to do.”
All of us, as we were growing up, learned a myriad of ways to try to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. One of the ways we might have learned is to lie.
We all had many opportunities to learn this way of protecting ourselves, which is a form of manipulation/control:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover addiction-free joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome/addiction_help.html, and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
Peter had been working with me on the phone for a number of months. He had sought my help because of problems in his relationship with his wife, Anika.
Peter grew up with an extremely empty, invasive, controlling mother and an extremely empty emotionally withdrawn father. His mother constantly pulled on Peter to fill her up with his praise and attention.
Most of us have many goals in life. These goals might have to do with work, finances, relationships and family.
Some of the goals that many people strive for are to feel worthy, loved, and valued. Many people spend much time in their lives seeking the approval of others, believing that getting this approval will finally give them the love, safety, security, and sense of worth that they desire.
Core sadness is sadness that is in reaction to something that is happening or has happened externally. Many life situations can cause sadness, such as:
I have spent many years trying to discover the ONE thing – the one vital choice – that leads to emotional healing and joy, or to suffering.
Over 35 years ago I discovered an essential piece of the puzzle: that we each have only one to two intents at any given moment – to protect against pain and responsibility for it, or to open to learning from our pain and take responsibility for it. In other words – to learn from pain or to run from pain with our various addictions.
I discovered the next vital piece almost 25 years ago, after working as a traditional psychotherapist for 17 years and not being happy with the results. I discovered that there is no true healing without a connection with a personal source of spiritual guidance. The mind cannot heal itself.
Many people in our world are spiritually off-course, having become convinced that they cannot access Spirit directly – that they have to do it through a priest or a minister to get to God. We cannot manage the pain of life – lose of loved ones, rejection, abuse, violations, loss of limb, illness – without a direct experience of Spirit, without the compassion, wisdom and strength that comes only from Spirit. When we do not know how to have this direction connection, then our only choice is to run from pain.
After practicing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years I was discouraged by the results – both for my clients and myself. I've spent years trying to heal from my own dysfunctional and abusive background, but found myself still suffering with anxiety and relationship problems. I started to seek a process that worked fast, deep, creates permanent change, loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. In 1984, I met and became friends with Dr. Erika Chopich, who had half the Inner Bonding® process, and I had the other half! We've been evolving this incredibly powerful healing process for the last 25 years.
I've worked with individuals and couples throughout the world – face to face, on the phone, via the web on http://www.InnerBonding.com, and in multi-day group intensive programs. With my connection with Guidance during my sessions I'm able to work with people wherever they are in the world.
In my spare time I love to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, play with horses, and spend time with my children and grandchildren.
Dr. Margaret Paul, co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, the SelfQuest
self-healing software program and also the author/co-author of several best-selling books.
