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Do you believe that you want a relationship but never seem to find the ‘right one?’ Most people say they want to be in a relationship, yet they consistently do things that keep them from achieving this. If you answer yes to some of the questions on the following list, you might be relationship avoidant . . . → Read More: Are You Relationship -Avoidant? Do you find that as soon as you really like someone – whether as a friend or as a partner – you ‘lose your cool?’ Relationships offer us more opportunities for personal growth than just about anything else in life. But sometime the opportunities are very challenging! For example, Larry asks: “Whenever I . . . → Read More: “I Lose My Cool In Relationships.”  Comments are closed  Relationships  higher power, Inner Bonding, inner child, loving adult, Self Help, self worth, self-abandonment, self-judgment, self-rejection Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self?
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”~Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now
How often do you feel genuinely grateful for what you have in your life? There is a big difference between acting grateful and feeling genuine gratitude in your heart. Our ego wounded self, which is the part of us that wants control over our feelings, others and outcomes, loves the idea of acting grateful as a way to have control over manifesting abundance. The wounded self wants to believe that rattling off affirmations and statements of gratitude will give it this control. Continue reading The Foundation for Abundance       Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this.
Angela writes:
“I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going to die, even when I am in the presence of other people that are in conflict. I am aware that I abandon myself many times because I do not stand or fight for what I believe is right for me. I know we are going to encounter conflict in our daily life, it is part of it and I do not want to keep on feeling small at the presence of conflict. I want to be able to speak my truth, ask for what I need or stand for what I believe is right. How can I transform this, that is, how can I handle the anxiety and approach conflict in a more centered way?” I completely understand what Angela experiences, as I used to feel the same anxiety, feeling like I was going to die. It took me many years to understand what I needed to do in conflict to no longer fear it. Continue reading Staying Centered in Conflict Do you know what triggers you and why?
Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, anger, blame, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal, numbness, dissociation, explaining, complaining, lecturing, righteousness and so on. These triggered feelings are generally attached to previous traumatic events, such as:
Comments are closed Relationships Abandonment, abuse, being triggered, buried memories, emotional trauma, Inner Bonding, inner child, loving adult, Margaret Paul, PTSD, self-abandonment, trauma, Triggers Do you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work!
Leslie asks:
“When I approach my partner to address an issue, he only sees me as controlling and creating ‘controversy’. He can barely stand in the room for more than a minute…and it ALWAYS escalates into a big frustrating fight. It seems IMPOSSIBLE to deal with any issues with this man. What do you suggest?” Leslie, I suggest that, instead of discounting what your partner says about you being controlling, you go inside and be honest with yourself regarding your intent. Are you certain that when you address an issue with your partner you are truly open to learning about his very good reasons for doing what he does and about why it is upsetting to you, or are you trying to get him to change? If you are trying to get him to change, then this is why he sees you as controlling. The fact that it always escalates into a big fight leads me to believe that you are trying to control rather than learn. If you were truly wanting to learn, then if he became resistant or agitated, you would move into an intent to learn about why he was feelings this way, or you would disengage rather than fight. Continue reading The Challenge of Conflict |
 Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette 
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Copyright © 2014 Dr. Margaret Paul - All Rights Reserved |
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