Is Unconditional Love Realistic?

Do you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner?

Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and their spiritual guidance to be able . . . → Read More: Is Unconditional Love Realistic?

How Controlling Others Controls You

How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?

“As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.” ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert and Opera Singer

“I’ve . . . → Read More: How Controlling Others Controls You

Why Can’t I Commit?

Do you have problems committing to a relationship, or are you involved with someone who has a fear of commitment?

Louis wrote to me:

“I have been dating an amazing girl, but recently ended it because I am not sure if she is good for me. Our relationship has been very dramatic, partially due . . . → Read More: Why Can’t I Commit?

Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?

Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others.


Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.”

Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.”

Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong.

A boundary is something you set for yourself. Continue reading Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?

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“Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”

Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.


Lauren asks:

“I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and resentful that I can hardly look at my husband in the eye let alone be loving to him. I feel my inner self tell me its time to be done. But my mind tells me differently because of our wonderful children. Trying to find out if there is hope for our relationship or if I can truly feel love/intimacy for him without sacrificing my own health?”

Lauren, I don’t know enough about your relationship to know whether or not there is hope for your marriage, but what I do know is that there is much inner work for you to do before deciding that it’s time to leave.  Continue reading “Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”

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Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.


Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it’s likely in spite of being hard on yourself, not because of it.

Many of us grew up with parents and teachers who believed that being hard on us was the way to motivate us. As children, we absorbed their judgments of us and became strict taskmasters with ourselves.

Are you aware of the negative consequences of being hard on yourself? Continue reading Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

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