Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others.
Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.”
Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.”
Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong.
Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.
Lauren asks:
“I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and resentful that I can hardly look at my husband in the eye let alone be loving to him. I feel my inner self tell me its time to be done. But my mind tells me differently because of our wonderful children. Trying to find out if there is hope for our relationship or if I can truly feel love/intimacy for him without sacrificing my own health?”
Lauren, I don’t know enough about your relationship to know whether or not there is hope for your marriage, but what I do know is that there is much inner work for you to do before deciding that it’s time to leave. Continue reading “Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”
Do you believe that you want a relationship but never seem to find the ‘right one?’
Most people say they want to be in a relationship, yet they consistently do things that keep them from achieving this. If you answer yes to some of the questions on the following list, you might be relationship avoidant . . . → Read More: Are You Relationship -Avoidant?
Do you judge yourself for the past? Discover why and what to do about it.
Brianna wrote to me, asking:
“I am having a difficult time forgiving myself of past mistakes and it feels like it haunts me every morning and I get bogged down in swirling thoughts which only holds me back . . . → Read More: Why Can’t I Forgive Myself For My Mistakes?
Have you wondered why you are often able to take loving care of yourself when you are alone but you lose yourself in relationships? Discover the answer now!
Do you find that you take loving care of yourself when you are alone, but that you lose yourself with someone you are attracted to, . . . → Read More: “I Lose Myself Around Others”
One of the wonderful things we have to offer each other in our relationships is to have each other's back. Being alone with difficult challenges is very hard. But all too often, this is not how couples relate to each other. […]
Learning to love yourself is foundational for being able to love others. The more you learn to be kind and gentle with yourself, rather than judgmental and rejecting, the more loving you will be with others. […]
We cannot see the beauty in others when we are rejecting ourselves. When we allow others to define our worth, then of course we take it personally when someone rejects us -- because we have already rejected ourselves. […]
If I'm not fully present with my heart completely open, then the above experiences will not feel ecstatic and luminous. Ecstatic moments occur only when you are fully present in each moment, with your heart completely open to all that life offers -- both the wonderful and the painful. […]
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