How often have you shared your feelings and the other person became angry and defensive?
How often have you heard that it’s good to “share your feelings”? How often have you shared your feelings and it backfired on you? Perhaps you find yourself saying “But I’m just sharing my feelings!”
The problem is that . . . → Read More: When It’s Loving To Share Your Feelings…And When It’s Not
Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy.
“Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don’t recall what they said or did in that altered state of mind.” Mindsight, P.155 Daniel Siegel, M.D.
Have . . . → Read More: Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?
How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?
“As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.” ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert and Opera Singer
“I’ve . . . → Read More: How Controlling Others Controls You
Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others.
Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.”
Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.”
Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong.
A boundary is something you set for yourself. Continue reading Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?
Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.
“I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and resentful that I can hardly look at my husband in the eye let alone be loving to him. I feel my inner self tell me its time to be done. But my mind tells me differently because of our wonderful children. Trying to find out if there is hope for our relationship or if I can truly feel love/intimacy for him without sacrificing my own health?”
Lauren, I don’t know enough about your relationship to know whether or not there is hope for your marriage, but what I do know is that there is much inner work for you to do before deciding that it’s time to leave. Continue reading “Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”
Do you believe that you want a relationship but never seem to find the ‘right one?’
Most people say they want to be in a relationship, yet they consistently do things that keep them from achieving this. If you answer yes to some of the questions on the following list, you might be relationship avoidant . . . → Read More: Are You Relationship -Avoidant?