Do You Make People Up?

Do you often see people as you want them to be rather than as they are? Has this caused you problems in your relationships?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” —Anais Nin

A variation on the above quote might be, “We don’t see people as they are – . . . → Read More: Do You Make People Up?

How Not To Have A Wonderful Celebration

The control-resist system guarantees you won’t have a wonderful anything.

Adriann and Chandler are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Recently, just one week before their 4th anniversary, they had a . . . → Read More: How Not To Have A Wonderful Celebration

No Sex in Your Relationship? Discover Why!

Do you and your partner have conflicts over sex?

Does your relationship suffer from a lack of sex? Aside from the problems of premature ejaculation, impotence, and lack of orgasm — which can often be handled through sexual therapy and education — I have found that there are two common sexual problems in committed . . . → Read More: No Sex in Your Relationship? Discover Why!

When It’s Loving To Share Your Feelings…And When It’s Not

How often have you shared your feelings and the other person became angry and defensive?

How often have you heard that it’s good to “share your feelings”? How often have you shared your feelings and it backfired on you? Perhaps you find yourself saying “But I’m just sharing my feelings!”

The problem is that . . . → Read More: When It’s Loving To Share Your Feelings…And When It’s Not

Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?

Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy.

“Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don’t recall what they said or did in that altered state of mind.” Mindsight, P.155 Daniel Siegel, M.D.

Have . . . → Read More: Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?

How Controlling Others Controls You

How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?

“As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.” ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert and Opera Singer

“I’ve . . . → Read More: How Controlling Others Controls You