Peter had been working with me on the phone for a number of months. He had sought my help because of problems in his relationship with his wife, Anika.

Peter grew up with an extremely empty, invasive, controlling mother and an extremely empty emotionally withdrawn father. His mother constantly pulled on Peter to fill her up with his praise and attention.

“Let’s talk tonight,” said Callie.

“Oh no, not again!” thought Darren as he gave Callie a blank stare, feeling like a deer in the headlights.

Darren knew from past experience that “Let’s talk,” meant, “Let’s talking about what you are doing wrong, and about how you are not meeting my needs, and about how hurt and unloved I feel.”

Frequently, my clients and members of our website ask me, “Is my relationship healthy? How do I know if it is healthy?”

Just as physical health is on a continuum, emotional health and relationship health are also on a continuum. And, like physical health, each person may have different criteria regarding what constitutes health. For example, some people say they are very healthy if they get a cold or flu a few times a year, while others’ health criteria is that they never get sick at all.

The fear of rejection is a huge issue in relationships. For some, the fear is so huge that it stops them from being in a relationship. For others, it plagues them throughout their relationships and causes much anxiety.

Rejection is a part of life, and learning to lovingly manage it is very important to our wellbeing.

To help you learn to move beyond the fear of rejection, I would like to help you see who a person is rejecting when they reject you. Are they rejecting your wounded self or your core Self?