Have you ever wondered if your desire to share time with a partner is coming from need or neediness?
Sometimes it’s a challenge to know what are reasonable relationship needs and when we are being needy.
Klarese is asking this important question:
“I am currently dating a wonderful person who I care about greatly. A challenge for me is his job is very demanding leaving us little time to spend together. I am aware my childhood triggers of abandonment are being tickled, however, I am having a difficult time figuring out if I am being reasonable or unreasonable with my need for attention. How do I discriminate between my codependent ‘needs’ and my true need to love and be loved while living my own fulfilled life?”
Each of us has the right to want whatever amount of attention we want in a relationship. Some people love to spend a lot of time together and others need less time together. There is nothing wrong with Klarese wanting more time with a partner. Continue reading “Is My Need For Attention Reasonable or Needy?”
How is your relationship with your partner? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
When you and your partner are both operating as loving adults, you will experience many positive results. When one or both of you are operating from your wounded self, you will experience many negative results. Since no one is able to be a loving adult all the time, it is likely that you experience a combination of positives and negatives.
When someone’s behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them?
We Are Not Separate
Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others‘ unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”
If you grew up in a family where one or both parents used anger to control you, then anger likely plays a role in your life now.
Did you grow up with anger in your household? Did one or both of your parents use anger as a way to keep you in line . . . → Read More: Anger And Other Forms of Control
Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?
One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.
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