Why Racism?

Discover some of the underlying causes of racism and what is necessary to heal this scourge of our society.

I do not pretend to be an expert on what causes a person to be a racist, but I would like to explore some ideas based on the principles of Inner Bonding.

Those of you . . . → Read More: Why Racism?

Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?

Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy.

“Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don’t recall what they said or did in that altered state of mind.” Mindsight, P.155 Daniel Siegel, M.D.

Have . . . → Read More: Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?

Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.


Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it’s likely in spite of being hard on yourself, not because of it.

Many of us grew up with parents and teachers who believed that being hard on us was the way to motivate us. As children, we absorbed their judgments of us and became strict taskmasters with ourselves.

Are you aware of the negative consequences of being hard on yourself? Continue reading Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

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Why Relationships Fail

Discover the major cause of relationship failure and what to do about it.


Most people, when asked if they want a loving relationship, will say that having a loving relationship is one of the two most important things to them – along with having work they love.

Why, then, do so many relationships fail?

If we want to go deeply into why relationships fail, we need to go all the way back to the parental relationship.  Continue reading Why Relationships Fail

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Does Controlling Others Make You Feel Happy?

Are you aware of the feelings you cause yourself when you attempt to control others rather than love yourself?

“I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.” - Thomas Jefferson

When your intent is to control others, are you . . . → Read More: Does Controlling Others Make You Feel Happy?

“My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me “

Is sex mostly gone out of your relationship? There are always good reasons for this.

Do you identify with Lawrence, whose wife won’t have sex with him? In my work with individuals and couples, I often hear this complaint. Lawrence asks:

“Would you please address how one deals with the anger, frustration, hurt, etc., . . . → Read More: “My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me “