Are You Addicted to the Internet?

Do you get addictively stuck on the Internet and can’t seem to find your way out?


Our society provides many ways we can avoid our feelings addictively. Many people today are addicted to being on the Internet as one way of avoiding feeling an underlying pain that they believe they cannot manage feeling. Continue reading Are You Addicted to the Internet?
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Are You Hiding?

“The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch

“How can I get this pain to go away?”

This is often what clients who seek my help ask me in a first session. Because they have never learned to manage and learn from their pain, they want to avoid it, eliminate it – find a way to hide from it.

The problem is that they have been unsuccessfully hiding from their pain for years by abandoning themselves – by staying focused in their head rather than their body, hoping that if they avoid feeling their feelings, the feelings will go away. They have been judging their feelings and turning to various addictions for the same reason.

When trouble comes, which it inevitably does, they intensify their avoidance of their feelings. Continue reading Are You Hiding?

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Are You Abandoning Yourself?

Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you – or do they come from self-abandonment?


When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.

As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.

It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.

Most people don’t think about how they abandon themselves because they don’t recognize that they are responsible for themselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally. Continue reading Are You Abandoning Yourself?

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The Law of Love

I have learned over my 43 years of counseling that no one heals without a personal connection to a spiritual source of Guidance.

William was struggling with issues of shame and depression. He had struggled with feelings of insecurity and jealousy most of his life, despite years of inner work. While he intellectually knew that he was okay, emotionally he never felt it. This was his first phone session with me.

“William,” I asked, “what is your concept of God or a Higher Power?”

“Oh, you know, the traditional Judeo/Christian concept – an old dude up in the sky dishing out judgments.” Continue reading The Law of Love

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