Do you sometimes have confusion regarding the value of a relationship?
Jeanine asked me the following question at one of my free webinars:
“Hi Dr. Paul, thank you so much for your wonderful work and for these complimentary calls. Dr. Paul, my parents divorced when I was 9 years old. I am 37 and single. Part of me resists serious commitment because I feel like, ‘What’s the point? It’s all impermanent anyway, so why even bother?’ I am afraid that after the honeymoon is over I will be taken for granted and trapped in a loveless relationship/marriage. Can you help? Thank you!” Continue reading “What’s The Point of a Relationship?”
Discover why you may be sabotaging and punishing yourself with your self-judgment and self-rejection.
Would you love to manifest your dreams and have the life you want? Most people would unhesitatingly respond with a resounding “YES!” Yet, do you sometimes find yourself sabotaging yourself in achieving this? Georgette finds herself in this position and . . . → Read More: “How Do I Stop Sabotaging Myself?”
Are you aware of the system you have created with your partner that may be causing you pain?
I have worked with couples for 44 years, and one thing I can tell you for sure: relationships are a system, and each partner has an equal part of the system. People come together at their common level of woundedness – their common level of self-abandonment. In many relationships, each partner is very aware of the other person’s end of the system, but completely unaware of their own end. They tend to trigger the other person’s wounded self with their own wounded self, but they often don’t recognize their own wounded self. Here is an example of this:
Allison asks:
“How do you suggest telling someone they’re doing something that hurts your feelings and to ask them to stop? My husband recently accused me of finding a way to blame my depressed feelings on him. He believes that I wake up in the morning feeling depressed and then try to find something to pin it on. My experience is that if he says something that bothers me and I don’t say something right when it happens or if he tells me I’m being defensive and I shut down, that I often wake up feeling resentful the next day, but when I tell him that I’m upset he gets defensive and tells me I have a problem.” Continue reading “How Can I Get Him To Stop Hurting Me?”
Dating provides many opportunities to learn and grow. Discover some of what you can learn that will be very valuable for you.
Franklin writes:
“I am a 68 year old male who was married for 27 years and now divorced 15 years. I have fallen in love with a woman after only three months of dating, but she is disengaging by being incommunicado. I am mystified since things were going so well then suddenly she is not available. What to do?”
Franklin, as hard as it is, there is nothing you can do about her disengaging from you. You need to be very compassionate toward your own heartbreak. Generally, people do this when they get scared of intimacy. There are two major reasons they get scared: Continue reading Challenges of The Dating Scene
Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self?
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”~Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now
How often do you feel genuinely grateful for what you have in your life?
There is a big difference between acting grateful and feeling genuine gratitude in your heart.
Our ego wounded self, which is the part of us that wants control over our feelings, others and outcomes, loves the idea of acting grateful as a way to have control over manifesting abundance. The wounded self wants to believe that rattling off affirmations and statements of gratitude will give it this control. Continue reading The Foundation for Abundance
Do you love your partner but find that the intensity and intimacy have become muted? Discover why.
Patti asked the following question in one of my webinars on sexuality:
I am now going out with the man of my dreams. I have wanted to be in relationship with him for so long. We used to be friends and I would be so excited to see him. Yet now that we are in a relationship (5 months), I am quietly happy, but the level of excitement I used to have seems to have disappeared. I don’t seem to be able to access the range of emotions I ordinarily have. Would appreciate your insights. Thank you.
Notice what happens when you listen to your inner knowing and what happens when you don't. Consciously listen and follow through with action when you are aware of the thoughts, feelings and images that pop in, and see what happens. […]
Unless there is physical danger, staying in the relationship while you explore and heal your end of the relationship system will serve you well. Once you have healed your end of your relationship system, it will become very clear to you whether or not your relationship has a chance of becoming loving and caring, or whether it is time to move on. […]
It's a big challenge to accept helplessness over another, but when you fully accept it, then you are free to take loving care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to not escalate the fight, and to then compassionately tend to your own feelings. […]
Sharing love is the most fulfilling experience in life, but you need to be filled with love in order to have love to share. Learning to love yourself is what fills you with love. […]
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