How Are You and Your Partner Doing Together?

How is your relationship with your partner? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?


What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?

When you and your partner are both operating as loving adults, you will experience many positive results. When one or both of you are operating from your wounded self, you will experience many negative results. Since no one is able to be a loving adult all the time, it is likely that you experience a combination of positives and negatives.

 

Positive: Sometimes or Always:

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Longing For Connection

Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another.


Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.

Of course we long for connection when we don’t have it in our lives. But sometimes it seems elusive – even in committed relationships.

Larissa asked me, “Am I being needy when I am longing for connection with my spouse?”

A good question, and the answer is not simple.

If you are longing for connection with your spouse because you are feeling alone and empty inside and you hope that he will fill you up and make you feel worthy and lovable, then the answer is yes – you are being needy. Continue reading Longing For Connection

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“When Someone’s Behavior Affects Me, What Can I Do?”

When someone’s behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them?


We Are Not Separate

Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others‘ unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”

I strongly disagree.

Of course we are affected by others. Even a mean look can shoot through you like a poison dart. This is because on the soul level, we are not separate. On the soul level, we are One. Continue reading “When Someone’s Behavior Affects Me, What Can I Do?”

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The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life

A circle of love is the result of people being together with open hearts, and is the most wonderful experience in life.


Have you ever experienced a circle of love?

A circle of love occurs when two or more people are together with completely open hearts – open with their essence, with each other and with Spirit. When we are deeply connected with our core self and with the love and sustenance of Spirit, and we are sharing our love with others – and they are doing the same – a circle of love occurs. A circle of love is the highest, most joyous experience in life.

Yet most people in relationships rarely, if ever, experience a circle of love. This is because when the intent is to protect against pain rather than to learn about love, the heart is closed to feelings, as well as to others and to Spirit. Continue reading The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life

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When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

Are you being selfish if you do what brings you joy, even if others don’t like it? Do you feel trapped, believing you can’t really take loving care of yourself without being unloving to others?

One of the questions I often hear from my clients is, “If I take care of myself and . . . → Read More: When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

“If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?


One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.

An example of this is a typical situation that frequently occurs between Gavin and Julie. Continue reading “If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

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