Are You Living Your Life or Just Getting It Over With?

Do you often try to get a task over with, or even get life over with? Do you have problems staying in the moment and enjoying the process of something, rather than just completing a task?


How often do you find yourself wanting to finish something or to get something over with, rather than being in the moment with whatever is happening? How often does accomplishing the goal seem more important than being in the process? Why is it often more important to complete something than to savor the process, moment by moment?

My client Jacob always has a list of what he needs to do and he feels safe and worthy when he can check things off his list. His list keeps him busy with the next task and the next, leaving him no time to be present in the moment. When I ask Jacob, during a phone session, to go inside and feel what he is feeling in the moment, he tells me that it doesn’t feel very good to be inside his body. He doesn’t like to be present because he is often in emotional pain. Continue reading Are You Living Your Life or Just Getting It Over With?

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Longing For Connection

Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another.


Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.

Of course we long for connection when we don’t have it in our lives. But sometimes it seems elusive – even in committed relationships.

Larissa asked me, “Am I being needy when I am longing for connection with my spouse?”

A good question, and the answer is not simple.

If you are longing for connection with your spouse because you are feeling alone and empty inside and you hope that he will fill you up and make you feel worthy and lovable, then the answer is yes – you are being needy. Continue reading Longing For Connection

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Are You Selling Your Soul?

You might not think you are selling your soul, but is this true?


What have you given up for money and possessions?

  • Have you given up kindness to get ahead?

  • Have you given up family time for a bigger TV?

  • Have you given up fun for a new car?

  • Have you given up hobbies for a promotion?

  • Have you given up vacations for prestige?

  • Have you given up helping others for a bigger house or a new car or a boat?

  • Have you given up leisure time for more money?

  • Have you given up yourself to get approval?

  • Have you given up your creativity for the bottom line? Continue reading Are You Selling Your Soul?

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When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

Are you being selfish if you do what brings you joy, even if others don’t like it? Do you feel trapped, believing you can’t really take loving care of yourself without being unloving to others?

One of the questions I often hear from my clients is, “If I take care of myself and . . . → Read More: When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

The Gifts Within Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression hold within them much important information.


When you feel anxious or depressed, do you try to get rid of these feelings, or do you learn from them?

Getting rid of anxiety and depression is big business – especially for the pharmaceutical companies. Drug sales for anti-anxiety meds and antidepressants are huge. This is very sad to me, because, while there are circumstances where these meds are medically called for, much of the time they are prescribed in an effort to simply get rid of our painful feelings. The problem with this is that it leaves us without the roadmap we need to navigate life in a loving, meaningful and joyful way.

Anxiety and depression have major information for us. Let’s compare these feelings to the pain you would feel if you grabbed a hot pan with your bare hand or cut your finger slicing your veggies. Continue reading The Gifts Within Anxiety and Depression

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When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise

Discover when compromise is healthy and when it’s self-abandoning.

Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity?

When you think about compromising, what are . . . → Read More: When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise