Anger And Other Forms of Control

If you grew up in a family where one or both parents used anger to control you, then anger likely plays a role in your life now.

Did you grow up with anger in your household? Did one or both of your parents use anger as a way to keep you in line . . . → Read More: Anger And Other Forms of Control

Why Relationships Fail

Discover the major cause of relationship failure and what to do about it.


Most people, when asked if they want a loving relationship, will say that having a loving relationship is one of the two most important things to them – along with having work they love.

Why, then, do so many relationships fail?

If we want to go deeply into why relationships fail, we need to go all the way back to the parental relationship.  Continue reading Why Relationships Fail

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“If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t…”

How often have you had the thought, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t…

  • Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about me
  • Project your behavior onto me
  • Withdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TV
  • Resist doing what I ask you to do
  • Look at other women, have an affair
  • ____________________ (fill in your own)

I used to have this thought all the time. If someone yelled, blamed me, shut me out, didn’t see me accurately, or went into resistance, I would think, “You don’t care about me. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t treat me this way. How can you say you care about me and then treat me this way?” Sometimes I would even say this out loud. And always I would feel deep loneliness and heartache at being treated this way.

Then one day I suddenly saw all this uncaring behavior in a completely different light. Continue reading “If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t…”

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Are You and Your Partner Hurting Each Other?

You and your partner might be hurting each other without realizing how and why you are doing this.

Are you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?

Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?

Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unable to share love?

The sharing of love is the most wonderful experience in life. You connect and share love when you are open hearted with your partner – kind, caring, gentle, tender, understanding, and compassionate. You connect and share love when you are open to learning – listening well and caring about your own and your partner’s feelings, even if your partner is upset about how you might have hurt him or her.

Do you care about hurting your partner? Does your partner care about hurting you? Continue reading Are You and Your Partner Hurting Each Other?

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When Should You Take It Personally?

We hear so often, “Don’t take it personally.” What does this really mean? The answer is NOT simple!

Let’s say that you are in a great mood, feeling loving and expansive, and someone – either someone close to you or a stranger like a clerk in a store – is withdrawn or attacking. Continue reading When Should You Take It Personally?

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Relationships: “I’m Open, You’re Closed”

Are you in a relationship where you believe that you are open and your partner is closed? Read on! . . . → Read More: Relationships: “I’m Open, You’re Closed”