“When Someone’s Behavior Affects Me, What Can I Do?”

When someone’s behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them?


We Are Not Separate

Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others‘ unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”

I strongly disagree.

Of course we are affected by others. Even a mean look can shoot through you like a poison dart. This is because on the soul level, we are not separate. On the soul level, we are One. Continue reading “When Someone’s Behavior Affects Me, What Can I Do?”

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The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life

A circle of love is the result of people being together with open hearts, and is the most wonderful experience in life.


Have you ever experienced a circle of love?

A circle of love occurs when two or more people are together with completely open hearts – open with their essence, with each other and with Spirit. When we are deeply connected with our core self and with the love and sustenance of Spirit, and we are sharing our love with others – and they are doing the same – a circle of love occurs. A circle of love is the highest, most joyous experience in life.

Yet most people in relationships rarely, if ever, experience a circle of love. This is because when the intent is to protect against pain rather than to learn about love, the heart is closed to feelings, as well as to others and to Spirit. Continue reading The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life

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When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

Are you being selfish if you do what brings you joy, even if others don’t like it? Do you feel trapped, believing you can’t really take loving care of yourself without being unloving to others?

One of the questions I often hear from my clients is, “If I take care of myself and . . . → Read More: When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

“If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?


One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.

An example of this is a typical situation that frequently occurs between Gavin and Julie. Continue reading “If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

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“Should I Avoid People Who Push My Buttons?”

Is it in your highest good to stay away from people who trigger you? The answer might surprise you.

I’m sure you’ve had the experience of consistently being triggered by a certain kind of person. I certainly have. Before Inner Bonding, I tended to get irritated by people who pushed my buttons. Now, I know that these people are my best teachers.

Rosa is struggling with this issue:

“Do certain people trigger our wounded selves while others do not? If I practice Inner Bonding long enough could I become consistent in not being triggered? Should I avoid people who trigger me most intensely – like my lover?” Continue reading “Should I Avoid People Who Push My Buttons?”

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Knowing the difference between caring and caretaking can sometimes be confusing. Discover how to tell the difference.


Have you sometimes wondered how to know the difference between caring and caretaking? This is the question that Arielle is asking:

“I’m mindful of my over-giving tendency. But often I don’t realize I’m caretaking until after the fact when I feel drained. How can I know (before I take the action) when my giving is really caretaking?”

To know the difference, you need to become aware of a number of issues. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Continue reading “How Can I Know When I’m Caring And When I’m Caretaking?”

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