Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?

One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.

An example of this is a typical situation that frequently occurs between Gavin and Julie. Continue reading “If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”