Knowing the difference between caring and caretaking can sometimes be confusing. Discover how to tell the difference.


Have you sometimes wondered how to know the difference between caring and caretaking? This is the question that Arielle is asking:

“I’m mindful of my over-giving tendency. But often I don’t realize I’m caretaking until after the fact when I feel drained. How can I know (before I take the action) when my giving is really caretaking?”

To know the difference, you need to become aware of a number of issues. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Continue reading “How Can I Know When I’m Caring And When I’m Caretaking?”

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Friendship: Connection or Neediness?

Do you have problems having truly connected friendships?

Friendship is a big topic. There are people who always seem to have many friends, and others who can’t seem to find the way to make friends. Some people have deeply connected friendships, and others have only superficial acquaintances. What accounts for these differences?

A part . . . → Read More: Friendship: Connection or Neediness?

Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.


Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it’s likely in spite of being hard on yourself, not because of it.

Many of us grew up with parents and teachers who believed that being hard on us was the way to motivate us. As children, we absorbed their judgments of us and became strict taskmasters with ourselves.

Are you aware of the negative consequences of being hard on yourself? Continue reading Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

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First-Date Blues – What Can you Learn?

Dating is challenging for many. Here are some tips to turn it into a learning adventure.

Sometimes, dating can be discouraging, or it can be a learning experience. One of the things I encourage my dating clients to do is to use their experience to hone their intuitive skills – starting from the first . . . → Read More: First-Date Blues – What Can you Learn?

“Divorced and Reconciled – But It’s Not Working”

After reconciling with your partner, do you find yourself back in the same pattern?


Nancy wrote to me asking the following question:

“My husband and I were married for 15 years. Divorced. Reconciled after 9 months and re-married. I am having second thoughts about the reconciliation and I’ve become introverted with no desire to communicate or be close. I feel very protective of my personal affairs and feelings. The more he pushes the farther away I remove myself from the relationship. I feel the relationship is severely co-dependent. How do we break the co-dependency? What steps can I take to figure out why my need to protect is so extreme?”

Nancy, it sounds like the underlying issue is that your husband wants to have control over how you feel about him, and you are in resistance to being controlled. As long as controlling and not being controlled is the intent governing your relationship, your relationship cannot heal. Continue reading “Divorced and Reconciled – But It’s Not Working”

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Getting Out of The Negative Relationship Cycle

Should you leave a relationship that is stuck in a negative cycle? It is quite common for me to work with clients who are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship cycle. Sarah describes a common cycle that she wants to resolve:

“I am stuck in a two year uncommitted relationship. When he fears he is . . . → Read More: Getting Out of The Negative Relationship Cycle