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Discover when compromise is healthy and when it’s self-abandoning. Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity? When you think about compromising, what are . . . → Read More: When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others. Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.” Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.” Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong. A boundary is something you set for yourself. Continue reading Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?       What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?
What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:
“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.” Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?” Do you understand the power of kindness to change your life? “Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Og Mandino, 1923-1996, . . . → Read More: Change Your Life With This Simple Act Is it ever loving to be controlling? Yes! Discover the kind of controlling that is loving and leads to manifesting what you want in life. . . . → Read More: The Art of Manifestation: When It Is Loving to Be Controlling The underlying problem in most relationships is that both people are stuck in various forms of controlling behavior, yet neither person is consciously aware of trying to control. Find out how you may be trying to control, why you might want control, and what to do about it. . . . → Read More: Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior  Comments are closed  Relationships, Self Improvement & Personal Growth  controlling behavior, emotional healing, fear of enfulfment, fear of rejection, Inner Bonding, loving behavior, loving relationships, Margaret Paul, marriage, personal growth, personal responsibility, relationship help and advice, Self Help, Spiritual Growth |
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