“Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”

What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?


What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:

“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.”

Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”

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Change Your Life With This Simple Act

Do you understand the power of kindness to change your life?

“Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Og Mandino, 1923-1996, . . . → Read More: Change Your Life With This Simple Act

Inspirational Video: Kindness

Do you remember to make kindness your highest priority? Watching this 1 minute movie, “Kindness,” will remind you of the joy you can receive when choosing kindness.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Kindness

“I’m Not Appreciated”

Learn what you can do when you don’t feel appreciated by your partner.


Chris wrote this question for one of my relationship webinars:

“What do you do when you feel you are not loved for who you are? How do you accept your relationship when you don’t feel appreciated, or you think it’s your fault for what happens in your life? How can you change your relationship? How can you make it better?”

There are two ways of dealing with this issue.

Explore Within

Are you appreciating yourself? If you are judging yourself and telling yourself that ‘it’s your fault’ for what happens in your life, then it sounds like you are not seeing or appreciating yourself. Frequently, others treat us the way we treat ourselves. Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you value yourself? These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. Continue reading “I’m Not Appreciated”

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Inspirational Video: You Are ‘There’ When You Care

Do you often wonder when you will ‘get there?’ Watching this 1 minute movie, “You Are ‘There’ When You Care,” will remind you that, at any moment you chose to care, you’ve arrived.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: You Are ‘There’ When You Care

Inspirational Video: Make A Difference

Have you ever wondered how you can make a difference on the planet?  Watching this 1 minute movie, “Make A Difference!,” will help you discover how you can make a difference to others each day.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Make A Difference