Do You Fear Happiness?

Do you fear feeling happy because of the pain that might follow?

I’m certain that if someone asked you if you want to be happy, you would say “Yes, of course!” Yet research indicates that many people have a fear of happiness. Anna North, in an article entitled “Beware of Joy”, states that, “Fear of happiness is that creeping feeling that you shouldn’t get too comfortable, because something bad is bound to happen.”

I wouldn’t call this a fear of happiness. I would call it a fear of pain. It’s not the happiness that people want to avoid, but the pain that they fear will follow it.

The article goes on to state that, “At Scientific American, Tori Rodriguez looks at the downsides of fear of happiness: Continue reading Do You Fear Happiness?

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Do You Make People Up?

Do you often see people as you want them to be rather than as they are? Has this caused you problems in your relationships?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” —Anais Nin

A variation on the above quote might be, “We don’t see people as they are – . . . → Read More: Do You Make People Up?

Where Kindness Comes From

Do you allow your natural kindness to shine forth?

“Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness . . . → Read More: Where Kindness Comes From

“Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”

What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?


What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:

“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.”

Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”

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Change Your Life With This Simple Act

Do you understand the power of kindness to change your life?

“Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Og Mandino, 1923-1996, . . . → Read More: Change Your Life With This Simple Act

Inspirational Video: Kindness

Do you remember to make kindness your highest priority? Watching this 1 minute movie, “Kindness,” will remind you of the joy you can receive when choosing kindness.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Kindness