Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship.
Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. Here is one of the questions a woman – I will call her Susan – asked in a webinar on emotional dependency:
“When we are in a relationship and we have made our needs clear to our partner, is hanging on in the hope they will follow through with promises to meet our needs a sign of emotional dependency?”
The answer is – it depends on whatneeds you are taking about. There are some needs we have that can only be met by another person, and there are other needs that we need to learn to meet ourselves. Continue reading Are You Emotionally Dependent?
Loneliness is a huge problem in our society. It doesn’t have to be this way.
A study “followed nearly 45,000 people ages 45 and up who had heart disease or a high risk of developing the condition. Those who lived alone, the study found, were more likely to die from heart attacks, strokes, or other heart complications over a four-year period than people living with family or friends, or in some other communal arrangement.”http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/18/health/mental-health/loneliness-isolation-health/index.html
In his best-selling book, “Outliers,” Malcolm Gladwell opens with a study done in a small Pennsylvania town called Roseto, where people never die of heart attacks – due to the closeness and connections within their community. Continue reading Living Alone Can Kill You
Betrayal is one of the hardest things to go through, and it is vitally important that you deal with it in a way that doesn’t cause you even more pain.
It is devastating when someone whom we believe cares about us betrays us – lies, cheats, breaks a sacred promise, hurts us behind our back, steals from us, turns others against us and so on.
Releasing the feelings rather than staying stuck with them
It is vitally important to find healthy ways of releasing the outrage, heartbreak and helplessness over the other person that occurs in betrayal. The first step in releasing these very painful feelings is to move into compassion for yourself. Too often, we may blame ourselves for not seeing the signs of betrayal and getting caught unawares, but we must remember that we are human and can’t always know what’s happening. Continue reading 3 Steps to Healing from Betrayal
Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you – or do they come from self-abandonment?
When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.
As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.
It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.
Most people don’t think about how they abandon themselves because they don’t recognize that they are responsible for themselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally. Continue reading Are You Abandoning Yourself?
Joy is our birthright – a gift of Spirit. Discover the choices you can make to lead a joyful life.
1. Self-Compassion Rather Than Self-Judgment
In the 44 years I’ve been counseling clients, I’ve never had a client who was not judging themselves—and not realizing the profound negative effects of self-judgment. Most are afraid to let go of self-judgment, believing that without judging themselves, they will sit and do nothing. When they finally take the risk of self-compassion, they realize that, far from doing nothing, they are now motivated to be far more productive and creative. If they were previously doing well, it was in spite of their self-judgment, not because of it. If they were not doing well, it was because the self-judgment was immobilizing them.
Moving into compassion for ourselves—for our painful feelings, for our mistakes and failures, for being human—is magical! Self-compassion opens us to learning, healing and new choices that can bring us much joy. Continue reading 9 Secrets For A Joyful Life
Do you know what creates serenity. Watch this 1 minute inspirational video and learn how!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Serenity
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