Healing From Infidelity

Infidelity is a huge challenge, but relationships can heal from this and actually become stronger.


Sheldon wrote this question to me during one of my free webinars:

“I am trying to repair my 20-year marriage after my infidelity. I was discovered by my wife two years ago. I had been visiting massage parlors and prostitutes for a period of three years. We spent six months in counseling and made a little progress, but stopped going because of issues with our counselor. My wife is still suspicious of me and has no trust in me at all. How long should I expect before I can regain a little bit of trust. I know that I can’t live the rest of my life like this.”

Sheldon, infidelity is a very challenging issue and there is much to learn from it. Something I’m not hearing in your question is what you have learned in the last two years since your wife discovered your infidelity. Visiting massage parlors and prostitutes is a sign of deep self-abandonment. Seeking these experiences indicates that you felt empty inside and were looking to be filled up externally through sexual experiences. If you have not done the inner work of discovering how you were abandoning yourself and have not learned to love yourself, fill yourself, and be a trustworthy loving adult toward yourself and your wife, then it is unrealistic for her to trust you. Continue reading Healing From Infidelity

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Are You Emotionally Dependent?

Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship.


Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. Here is one of the questions a woman – I will call her Susan – asked in a webinar on emotional dependency:

“When we are in a relationship and we have made our needs clear to our partner, is hanging on in the hope they will follow through with promises to meet our needs a sign of emotional dependency?”

The answer is – it depends on what needs you are taking about. There are some needs we have that can only be met by another person, and there are other needs that we need to learn to meet ourselves. Continue reading Are You Emotionally Dependent?

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