Longing For Connection

Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another.


Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.

Of course we long for connection when we don’t have it in our lives. But sometimes it seems elusive – even in committed relationships.

Larissa asked me, “Am I being needy when I am longing for connection with my spouse?”

A good question, and the answer is not simple.

If you are longing for connection with your spouse because you are feeling alone and empty inside and you hope that he will fill you up and make you feel worthy and lovable, then the answer is yes – you are being needy. Continue reading Longing For Connection

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“I Don’t Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me.”

Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can’t figure out how?


I was having a Skype session with Andrea and Lawrence. Married for 18 years with two teen-age children, their marriage was strained. When I asked Lawrence how things were going between them, his answer was the same as always: “Fine.” When I asked Andrea the same question, she got a pained look on her face. “Things are okay, but not great. I’m lonely with Lawrence so much of the time. We just can’t seem to connect.”

Lawrence became defensive. “I can never do things good enough or right enough for you. You are always unhappy about something.” Continue reading “I Don’t Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me.”

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Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner?

“We can’t seem to connect anymore.”

This is one of the most common complaints I hear in my counseling practice.

We all know that it is generally easy to connect at the beginning of a relationship – before all the protections and defenses come up. But what do you do to reconnect once you feel disconnected from each other?

In order to answer this, let’s first look at what creates disconnection. Continue reading Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner?

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Are You and Your Partner Hurting Each Other?

You and your partner might be hurting each other without realizing how and why you are doing this.

Are you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?

Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?

Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unable to share love?

The sharing of love is the most wonderful experience in life. You connect and share love when you are open hearted with your partner – kind, caring, gentle, tender, understanding, and compassionate. You connect and share love when you are open to learning – listening well and caring about your own and your partner’s feelings, even if your partner is upset about how you might have hurt him or her.

Do you care about hurting your partner? Does your partner care about hurting you? Continue reading Are You and Your Partner Hurting Each Other?

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