How is your relationship with your partner? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
When you and your partner are both operating as loving adults, you will experience many positive results. When one or both of you are operating from your wounded self, you will experience many negative results. Since no one is able to be a loving adult all the time, it is likely that you experience a combination of positives and negatives.
When someone’s behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them?
We Are Not Separate
Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others‘ unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”
If you grew up in a family where one or both parents used anger to control you, then anger likely plays a role in your life now.
Did you grow up with anger in your household? Did one or both of your parents use anger as a way to keep you in line . . . → Read More: Anger And Other Forms of Control
Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?
One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.
Is it in your highest good to stay away from people who trigger you? The answer might surprise you.
I’m sure you’ve had the experience of consistently being triggered by a certain kind of person. I certainly have. Before Inner Bonding, I tended to get irritated by people who pushed my buttons. Now, I know that these people are my best teachers.
Rosa is struggling with this issue:
“Do certain people trigger our wounded selves while others do not? If I practice Inner Bonding long enough could I become consistent in not being triggered? Should I avoid people who trigger me most intensely – like my lover?” Continue reading “Should I Avoid People Who Push My Buttons?”
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