Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship?
Are you committed to working through the difficult and painful issues that inevitably arise in relationships, or do you run when things get hard? If you want to have a long-term loving relationship, then you need to learn to hang in through the hard stuff.
When Isabel and Lloyd met, they both felt that this was the relationship they had each been looking for. They could talk for hours. They were each deeply interested in learning about and getting to know each other. The chemistry between them was incredible. They had both been through previous marriages and both felt they were ready for a loving relationship. They enjoyed reading the same books and they both seemed open to learning. Continue reading Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff
Are you afraid to go deeper into personal growth and learning? Discover why this might be so and what you can do about it.
I’d had three phone sessions with Anika when I decided it was time to approach her about her intent. In my experience, she believed she was open to learning, but was completely closed to learning about herself. We were getting stuck because when I would reflect something to her about herself, she would get defensive, obviously feeling attacked by me. Continue reading Do You Have The Courage to Learn About Yourself?
“If you ask something of someone and you are upset over their response, then it wasn’t a request, it was a demand.” – Michael E. Angier
Most of us hate being demanded of. We don’t like being put in the position of feeling we have to say ‘yes’ in order to not run into another’s upset with us. Sometimes, to delay the negative response, we might say ‘yes’ and then not do it, hoping that the anticipated anger will never come. We might even mean ‘yes’ in the moment we say it, but because most of us hate being controlled by another, we might unconsciously resist doing what the other person has asked us to do. Continue reading Are You Demanding? Do You Hate Demands?
Are you allowing the hand you were dealt to determine what you do in life, or are you willing to make the best of a poor hand?
“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London
Research indicates that holding good cards is actually of great benefit in life. People born into wealthy families, who are emotionally and financially supported to become all they can be, have a great advantage over people from poor and emotionally unsupportive families. People who have to overcome childhood abuse have a much harder time in life than those who were loved. While some challenges do make us stronger, huge challenges such as severe childhood abuse can take such an emotional, spiritual and physical toll that the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” doesn’t always hold true.
Despite all that, each of us has the opportunity to play a poor hand well. Each of us has the opportunity to learn and grow from the big challenges in our lives. Continue reading Persistence: Playing a Poor Hand Well
Do you inspire others with your caring energy, or do you bring others down with your misery?
“You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” —Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Television Personality
What is your primary intention with others – to share uplifting, caring energy, or to get sympathy?
Getting Sympathy
When you are complaining, whining, and being generally gloomy with others, what do you want? Are you trying to connect with them through getting their sympathy? Are you trying to fill some inner emptiness through getting them to feel sorry for you? Have you been programmed to believe that the only way to connect is to share misery and complaints? Do you compete for having the worst complaints – the worst illness, the worst rejections, the worst unfairness, the worst day? Do you ever think to yourself when hearing another’s complaint, “Big deal, that’s nothing. Wait until you hear what I’m going through.” Continue reading Are you Inspiring or Gloomy?
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