Judging Yourself Can Lead To Sexual Addiction

By Dr. Margaret Paul March 04, 2019

Discover how self-abandonment can lead to using and objectifying others sexually.

Nicholas consulted with me because of problems he was having in his marriage. He was very distressed that his wife, Kayla, never wanted to have sex with him.

In the course of our work, it . . . → Read More: Judging Yourself Can Lead To Sexual Addiction

No Sex in Your Relationship? Discover Why!

Do you and your partner have conflicts over sex?

Does your relationship suffer from a lack of sex? Aside from the problems of premature ejaculation, impotence, and lack of orgasm — which can often be handled through sexual therapy and education — I have found that there are two common sexual problems in committed . . . → Read More: No Sex in Your Relationship? Discover Why!

How to Talk about Sex

Are you stuck in your relationship not being able to talk about sex, or getting into power struggles about sex?


Sean wrote in the following question on one of my free webinars about sexuality:

“My wife and I have been married now for eighteen years and for the most part are still very happy together. A year or so ago a friend introduced us to Inner Bonding and both together and alone we have become familiar with the Six Steps. My question for you this evening is, what suggestions do have to help us communicate our sexual needs and desires without so much defensiveness and judgments? Our wounded selves have a powerful dynamic in these regards so fear, of course, enters in with its control/protect mode. And so the dance continues…” Continue reading How to Talk about Sex

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Why Many Women Don’t Think About Sex

Are you a woman who rarely or never thinks about sex? Have you believed that was something wrong with you?


Laverne wrote the following to me:

“I have never had thoughts that picture me making love with my husband – or anyone else for that matter. I imagine connection, fun and feelings of love but never making love. If it was left up to me sex would never be on the agenda, just because it would never occur to me to make love. I know when my husband would like to make love, and I enjoy it when I do make love, but it would never cross my mind if he didn’t initiate. I feel I am missing being aware and connected to a part of me. Surely a reasonably balanced and mostly connected human being should have some sort of sex drive. Your thoughts and insights would be really appreciated. Thank you.” Continue reading Why Many Women Don’t Think About Sex

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What Does Having Sex Mean to You?

I’ve been counseling individuals and couples for many years. More than half the time, when couples are having problems or the relationship is dissolving, sex is one of the major issues. There are a number of common scenarios:

  • After a long marriage with regular sex, he comes home to discover that his wife has left. He is devastated, and has no idea why. Upon exploration, it turns out that he has expected sex at least three times a week. While his wife complied, he knew that she felt emotionally disconnected from him and needed to grit her teeth to have sex with him. Looking back, he realizes that she tried to express this to him and he had refused to listen. Now she was gone.
  • The partners are still together, but the sex is essentially gone from the relationship. This frequently occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. One partner may be more upset about this than the other. Continue reading What Does Having Sex Mean to You?
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The Need for Touch

Learn how important it is to be touched with love rather than with neediness.

We born with the need to touch and be touched, skin-to-skin. If you were not held and touched with love as you were growing up, then this might be a very deep need for you. But even if you were held and touched with love, you still need it today. It is a basic need.

But not all touch meets that need.

There are two kinds of touch:

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