This is often what clients who seek my help ask me in a first session. Because they have never learned to manage and learn from their pain, they want to avoid it, eliminate it – find a way to hide from it.
The problem is that they have been unsuccessfully hiding from their pain for years by abandoning themselves – by staying focused in their head rather than their body, hoping that if they avoid feeling their feelings, the feelings will go away. They have been judging their feelings and turning to various addictions for the same reason.
When trouble comes, which it inevitably does, they intensify their avoidance of their feelings. Continue reading Are You Hiding?
Do you often wonder when you will ‘get there?’ Watching this 1 minute movie, “You Are ‘There’ When You Care,” will remind you that, at any moment you chose to care, you’ve arrived.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: You Are ‘There’ When You Care
Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction:
“I am a 22-yr old female weighing 220 lbs with a height of 5.9″. I am very much over-weight and I know this. However the motivation to get fit is not there. I usually tell myself that I will get up early in the morning and work out but that never seems to work out. I see most of my friends modeling and doing things that I would feel too ashamed to do at my size but want to. I really want to get back down to size but don’t know where to start. Can you help me please?”
Pamela, here is what you need to ask yourself: “What is more important to me than getting back down to size?”
Is it more important to you to use food to avoid your painful feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness or heartache? Eating addictively is a form of self-abandonment. You are using food to fill the emptiness within that can only be filled with love – love for yourself. Until you want to learn to love yourself, you will not be motivated to get fit. Continue reading Overweight and Miserable
Are you addicted to porn and not feeling good about it? Discover the likely underlying cause and what to do about it.
I received the following question when I was conducting a webinar on sexual addiction:
“I have had a pornography addiction since I was a teenager. I am now in my mid 30’s. For the past four months I have abstained through Inner Child work, but two days ago I visited a porn site and masturbated. I feel really sad about this. What is the best way to address this?”
Pornography addiction is quite common. At one of my Five-Day Couples’ Intensives, one of the men was working on his porn addiction and was feeling embarrassed about it. In an effort to help him, I asked, “How many of you are addicted to porn?” Among the six couples there, four of the men raised their hands. Continue reading Addicted to Porn?
Do you continue to believe, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that life should be fair? Discover a new way of looking at fairness.
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” – Dennis Wholey
“It’s not fair!” yells eight-year old Calvin when his six-year old sister gets a bigger piece of pie.
How early we learn to think life should be fair! This concept that life should be fair seems to have been handed down from parents to children through recent generations. This is an ego-based concept not at all rooted in reality. Continue reading “It’s Not Fair!”
Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop.
“How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?” asks Tammy.
“Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?” I ask.
“What’s the difference?” Tammy asks.
“The difference is that you are asking the question in such as way as to indicate that your ex is doing something, i.e. somehow consuming your thoughts. But is your ex really doing something, or are you choosing to be consumed with thoughts of your ex?”
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