“Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?”

Discover what you may need to address before deciding whether you can be friends with an ex partner.

Elise writes:

“My partner and I separated a year ago. My partner now wants to finalize the relationship but work on being ‘friends’. I am having difficulty connecting as just ‘friends’, it seems to trigger all my old wounds of rejection and abandonment. Do you have any advice?”

Elise, the fact that your old rejection and abandonment wounds are getting triggered is a great opportunity for you to become aware of how you are rejecting and abandoning yourself. This is the real issue in the present. Old rejection and abandonment wounds get healed when we learn to give ourselves the love, compassion, gentleness, tenderness, caring and understanding that we didn’t receive as children.

As children, our parents or other caregivers created these wounds in us with their unloving behavior. Now, these triggered wounds likely indicate that you are treating yourself the way your parents treated you and themselves. Continue reading “Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?”


“I’m Consumed With My Ex.”

Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop.

“How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?” asks Tammy.

“Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?” I ask.

“What’s the difference?” Tammy asks.

“The difference is that you are asking the question in such as way as to indicate that your ex is doing something, i.e. somehow consuming your thoughts. But is your ex really doing something, or are you choosing to be consumed with thoughts of your ex?”

“Oh…No, my ex isn’t doing anything. I just can’t stop thinking about him. How do I stop thinking about him?” Continue reading “I’m Consumed With My Ex.”