Have you ever noticed how bad you feel when you try to control things you can’t control – such as others and outcomes?
Larry consulted with me because he was often miserable – despite running a successful business, and having a lovely wife and two daughters, whom he adored.
It soon became apparent that Larry was deeply addicted to controlling everything – his own feelings, how others felt about him, how well his employees performed, what his wife did for him, how well his children did in school, and whether or not anyone ever took advantage of him. His primary intent in life was to be in control and not be controlled. Continue reading Trying to Control Makes us Miserable
Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over – primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.
I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I asked them to discuss the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues.
I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:
The issue itself, such as their conflict regarding limits for their children;
The intent with which they were discussing the issue.
You and your partner might be hurting each other without realizing how and why you are doing this.
Are you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?
Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?
Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unable to share love?
The sharing of love is the most wonderful experience in life. You connect and share love when you are open hearted with your partner – kind, caring, gentle, tender, understanding, and compassionate. You connect and share love when you are open to learning – listening well and caring about your own and your partner’s feelings, even if your partner is upset about how you might have hurt him or her.
Learn how important it is to be touched with love rather than with neediness.
We born with the need to touch and be touched, skin-to-skin. If you were not held and touched with love as you were growing up, then this might be a very deep need for you. But even if you were held and touched with love, you still need it today. It is a basic need.
Do you want emotional connection but can’t seem to create it in your relationships? Learn how in this article! . . . → Read More: Relationships and Emotional Connection
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