Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over – primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.
I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I asked them to discuss the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues.
I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:
The issue itself, such as their conflict regarding limits for their children;
The intent with which they were discussing the issue.
I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn’t like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I’ve learned so much.
In this article, I’m going to discuss the 4 major mistakes that I used to make and that so many of my counseling clients make before working with me.
Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction – that like attracts like. However, many are confused about what this really means.
In my experience, like attracts like means that like frequency attracts like frequency. My high frequency attracts the things I want and my low frequency attracts the things I don’t want.
The question then becomes, what raises or lowers frequency?
“Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.” – – A Course in Miracles
I remember many years ago seeing the movie “Rashomon” (starring Toshiro Mifune and directed my Akira Kurosawa) where three people saw a murder committed and each saw it completely differently. Of course, each believed that what they saw was the truth. It is hard for many people to understand that perception is a mirror of what is going on for them on the inner level, rather than what is actually going on.
This is very apparent in our relationships with each other. For example, if you believe that you are not good enough – that you are in some way flawed, inadequate, unworthy, unlovable – and someone is rejecting you, it is very likely that you will take the other person’s behavior personally and believe that their rejecting behavior is about you. Continue reading Do You Believe What You Perceive?
Take a moment to watch this 1 minute inspirational video.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video – Make it True
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Lift Our Eyes to Something Higher
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