“How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother?”

Dealing with critical people, especially a parent, is a challenge for all of us. Here are some options for dealing with a critical mother.


Having a critical mother is a big challenge. I know, because I grew up with an extremely critical mother. I can certainly relate to Lori, who asked the follow question:

“Dr. Paul, my question is about what to do to take care of myself with my mother. She comes to visit me every so often, brings her husband along, and goes out of her way to put down everything about my life and the city I live in when she is here. It is heart breaking because I am a loving person and choose to keep my heart open, yet she goes out of her way to hurt me by putting down my life. I want to be me, and be loving and giving, yet it hurts a lot to be open with her. Can you provide some Inner Bonding thoughts on this? Thank you so much!” Continue reading “How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother?”

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The Myth of Explaining and Defending

“What’s the matter with you?”
“How could you do that?”
“Explain yourself, young lady/young man.”
“Why are you dressed like that?”
“Why are you late again?”
“What did you do to your hair!”

How often did you hear some variation of this when you were growing up? I heard it all the time. And what I learned to do was to desperately defend and explain in fruitless attempts to get my mom or dad to stop judging me and SEE me. Or I would apologize and become the “good girl,” so they would approve of me. Continue reading The Myth of Explaining and Defending

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Others Treat Us The Way We Treat Ourselves

“Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are. If you’re friendly, then everybody else seems to be friendly too.” –Dr. David Hawkins, Physician and Lecturer 

Have you ever noticed how true this is?

I would change it a bit and say that we attract to ourselves what we choose to be in any given moment.

What we intrinsically are, is our true essence, which is a spark of the Divine – unconditional love. But since we don’t always attract unconditional love to us, others are generally reflecting who we’ve chosen to be. Continue reading Others Treat Us The Way We Treat Ourselves

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