What to do When You Can’t Communicate

What do you usually do when you get stuck with someone and can’t communicate?

Do you:

  • Try harder to get your point across, talking louder or faster?
  • Get angry, shouting to intimidate the other person into hearing you and/or agreeing with you?
  • Cry in frustration?
  • Feel resigned, give in and just listen quietly to the other person?
  • Walk away or hang up the phone in a huff, withdrawing your love in the hope of punishing the other person into hearing you?
  • Grab a drink or food to avoid your feelings?
  • Turn on the TV or open a book?
  • Ruminate about how wrong the other person is and what you wish you could say to them?

What happens within you and with your relationship when you do any of these things? Continue reading What to do When You Can’t Communicate

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The Color of Conflict

This 1 minute inspirational video can remind you of the opportunities to learn that are inherent in all conflict.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. . . . → Read More: The Color of Conflict

Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over – primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.

I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I asked them to discuss the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues.

I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:

  • The issue itself, such as their conflict regarding limits for their children;
  • The intent with which they were discussing the issue.

There are only two possible intents in discussing an issue with your partner: Continue reading Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

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Relationships: “I’m Open, You’re Closed”

Are you in a relationship where you believe that you are open and your partner is closed? Read on! . . . → Read More: Relationships: “I’m Open, You’re Closed”

Stop Fighting, Start Loving with Inner Bonding®

If you are in conflict with your partner, then it is likely one of you is a taker and the other is a caretaker, neither loving yourself enough to share love with your partner.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® . . . → Read More: Stop Fighting, Start Loving with Inner Bonding®

Speaking Your Truth When it’s Hard

How often to you withhold your truth from someone important to you because you are afraid of their anger? Discover what caring about yourself looks like in this situation. . . . → Read More: Speaking Your Truth When it’s Hard