Self-Care: Are You Resistant to Health and Fitness?

Do you find yourself resisting or procrastinating taking loving care of yourself
Of course you want to be healthy and fit! Who doesn’t? But are you always motivated and willing to do what you need to do to create health and fitness? Are you motivated to:

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedin

What Does It Mean To Love Yourself?

Many of us know that we need to be loving to ourselves, but what does this actually mean?

Since most of us had little or no role modeling regarding loving ourselves when we were growing up, it’s often challenging to know what loving ourselves looks like. It’s through my work with my inner . . . → Read More: What Does It Mean To Love Yourself?

Staying Centered in Conflict

Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this.


Angela writes:

“I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going to die, even when I am in the presence of other people that are in conflict. I am aware that I abandon myself many times because I do not stand or fight for what I believe is right for me. I know we are going to encounter conflict in our daily life, it is part of it and I do not want to keep on feeling small at the presence of conflict. I want to be able to speak my truth, ask for what I need or stand for what I believe is right. How can I transform this, that is, how can I handle the anxiety and approach conflict in a more centered way?”

I completely understand what Angela experiences, as I used to feel the same anxiety, feeling like I was going to die. It took me many years to understand what I needed to do in conflict to no longer fear it. Continue reading Staying Centered in Conflict

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedin

Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking?

A client of mine asked, “Is there such a thing as healthy caretaking?” Here is the answer!

I was trained by my mother and grandmother to be a caretaker. The messages were: “Your feelings are not important to us at all. You need to learn to completely ignore your own feelings and instead take care of our feelings. In return for this, we will occasionally give you some approval for being a good girl.”

I learned my lessons well. I learned to stay in my head rather than my heart and soul so that I wouldn’t be aware of my own feelings. I learned to be very vigilant regarding others’ feelings and to do all I could to be what they wanted me to be. I completely lost touch with myself. Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking?

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedin

Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open?

Were you taught that if you were nice others would be nice?

“I had this really terrible interaction on the phone with a customer on Tuesday,” Carlton told me in our Skype session. “This guy was so closed and controlling. He just kept yelling about what he wanted me to do. I was being really nice, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. The conversation went on for an hour and we didn’t get anywhere. He just kept acting crazy. I ended up exhausted and drained. Why do people have to be like that?”

Carlton is a really ‘nice guy.’ The problem is he believes that his niceness is a way to control getting closed people to open. This was not the first time I’d heard about someone acting ‘crazy’ with Carlton. He had just ended a relationship with a woman who did the same thing. Continue reading Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open?

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedin

Burned by Coffee or Burned by Heartbreak – They Feel the Same

“Science has finally confirmed what anyone who’s ever been in love already knows: Heartbreak really does hurt.” http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/28/burn.heartbreak.same.to.brain/index.html

“In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you.

In other words, the brain doesn’t appear to firmly distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain. Heartache and painful breakups are “more than just metaphors,” says Ethan Kross, Ph.D., the lead researcher and an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor.”

Heartbreak might even hurt more than being burned by coffee. While no one wants to be physically burned, most people are far more focused on having control over not experiencing the pain of heartbreak than the pain of a coffee burn. Continue reading Burned by Coffee or Burned by Heartbreak – They Feel the Same

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedin