Do you get stuck not knowing what to say or do when your partner treats you disrespectfully?
Louise asked me:
“Do you have any suggestions on what to say when my husband says unloving words to me in front of others, including our children? I don’t want my kids to keep witnessing disrespectful behavior toward their mother. When I challenge his treatment of me, his anger escalates and the chastisement worsens. I am frequently embarrassed when I am scolded like this in front of others, but more importantly, I wish my children to understand that this is not ok. How can I model what to say to him so that my kids can learn how to take loving care of themselves in such situations?”
Continue reading Does Your Partner Judge You In Front Of Others?
Have you ever wondered why God allows so much abuse, so much pain, so much war?
“God has no hands but these.” - Mother Theresa
I am often asked by my clients, “If God is all powerful, why didn’t he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle or a stranger) . . . → Read More: “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?”
Do you hit your children? If you want to raise healthy children, reading this article is a must. . . . → Read More: Finally! Studies Prove That Spanking Doesn’t Work
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis
I am grateful that a friend sent me the above quote, as it wonderfully states a vitally important subject that we all need to struggle with – to love or not to love.
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
– Kahlil Gibran
- Your children’s good or difficult behavior and successful or unsuccessful achievements define your worth.
- Your children are the center of your life – your purpose in life.
- Your focus is on taking care of your children rather than taking care yourself.
- Your happiness or pain is determined by your children.
- You are invasive – you need to know everything about what your children think and do.
If you identify with one or more of these symptoms, you might be enmeshed with your children.
Consequences for your children of you being enmeshed with them: Continue reading Enmeshed Parenting