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Discover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy. “Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don’t recall what they said or did in that altered state of mind.” Mindsight, P.155 Daniel Siegel, M.D. Have . . . → Read More: Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged?  Comments are closed  Self Improvement & Personal Growth  anger, blame, communication, conflict resolution, enraged, grief, heartbreak, helplessness, Inner Bonding, loneliness, Margaret Paul, rage, relationship advice, Relationships Are you ready to discover the way to happiness? Are you ready to discover what Epictetus knew over 2000 years ago? “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ~Epictetus, AD 55-135 It’s hard for me to imagine that . . . → Read More: The Way to Happiness Comments are closed Self Improvement & Personal Growth anger, blame, controlling behavior, Epictetus, grief, happiness, heartbreak, helplessness, Inner Bonding, loneliness, Margaret Paul, personal development, personal power, Self Help Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can’t figure out how?
I was having a Skype session with Andrea and Lawrence. Married for 18 years with two teen-age children, their marriage was strained. When I asked Lawrence how things were going between them, his answer was the same as always: “Fine.” When I asked Andrea the same question, she got a pained look on her face. “Things are okay, but not great. I’m lonely with Lawrence so much of the time. We just can’t seem to connect.”
Lawrence became defensive. “I can never do things good enough or right enough for you. You are always unhappy about something.” Continue reading “I Don’t Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me.”       Do you continue to believe, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that life should be fair? Discover a new way of looking at fairness.
“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” – Dennis Wholey
“It’s not fair!” yells eight-year old Calvin when his six-year old sister gets a bigger piece of pie. How early we learn to think life should be fair! This concept that life should be fair seems to have been handed down from parents to children through recent generations. This is an ego-based concept not at all rooted in reality. Continue reading “It’s Not Fair!” Comments are closed Self Improvement & Personal Growth compassion, fairness, heartache, heartbreak, helplessness, Inner Bonding, it's not fair, learning to love, love, Margaret Paul, soul, soul journey Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop.
“How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?” asks Tammy. “Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?” I ask. “What’s the difference?” Tammy asks. “The difference is that you are asking the question in such as way as to indicate that your ex is doing something, i.e. somehow consuming your thoughts. But is your ex really doing something, or are you choosing to be consumed with thoughts of your ex?” “Oh…No, my ex isn’t doing anything. I just can’t stop thinking about him. How do I stop thinking about him?” Continue reading “I’m Consumed With My Ex.” Comments are closed Relationships compassion, compassion for self, emotional healing, ex lover, ex partner, heartbreak, helplessness, Inner Bonding, loneliness, Margaret Paul, obsessing, obsession, self-compassion What do you do when you feel helpless over another’s choices? What is the result? Are you happy with how you manage this feeling? Helplessness is a very difficult feeling. It can even feel like life or death to those of us who were left to cry for hours as babies, with no one coming to help us. Because we were so helpless over ourselves as babies and small children, it can trigger feelings of panic. It’s hard to remember, in these moments when fear is triggered, that as adults, we are not helpless over ourselves. For many of us, the deep fear that got programmed into us as young children can trigger our wounded self’s desire to control, when we feel helpless over another’s choices. What do you do when you feel helpless over another? Continue reading The Challenge of Accepting Our Helplessness Over Others |
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