How to Feel Safe and Connected with Yourself and Others

By Dr. Margaret Paul
November 22, 2021

Discover what it takes to create a deep level of safety and connection with yourself and with others.


safe and connected, healing within a relationship

Most people have a deep desire to feel safe, and to feel connected with the people in their lives. Yet, many people never feel a sense of safety and connection.

Growing up with various forms of abuse and disconnected parents, I didn’t feel safe or connected with either of my parents.

I kept searching for safety and connection in my relationships with others but never felt it for very long. Then, when spirit brought us Inner Bonding, I learned to create inner safety and inner connection with my essence and my spiritual guidance.

But, while Inner Bonding provides the inner safety and connection with self and spirit that is necessary for healing, it’s not the whole story. We need safety and connection with at least one other person to deeply heal. Our wounds happened in relationship, and they need to be healed in relationship.

Here is where coming to an Intensive or having facilitation with a loving facilitator can be very healing. A good therapist or facilitator provides the safe and connected space you may need to finally feel the deep sense of safety and connection that you may have missed out on as a child.

The very best way of achieving this level of healing is in a loving relationship.

This is one of the most powerful benefits that a loving relationship can provide. But sadly, many relationships don’t provide this, because when partners get angry or withdraw, they take away the safety that each needs to heal.

By each of you doing your own Inner Bonding work and creating inner safety and connection, you can each move toward creating the safe space that you both need to heal on a deeper level. The more you develop your loving adult, the less you get angry or withdraw, which eventually leads to both of you feeling safe to share your deeper levels of pain – your old loneliness, heartbreak, and helplessness from childhood, and your present pain from any disconnection and lack of safety within the relationship.

It’s truly an amazing journey when two people can provide this healing space for each other.

There is nothing more profoundly fulfilling than being able to hold each other in love, allowing each of you to feel and release the deep old pain of the past, as well as any unreleased current pain.

When you can do this for your partner and your partner can do this for you, you will not only create a deep level of intimacy, but you may feel unconditional love for the first time in your life. There is nothing more healing than being held in love while you release both old and current pain, opening the space for the sharing of love and laughter.

The more you practice Inner Bonding and learn to show up for yourself, the more you can show up for your partner, and the more you and your partner show up for each other, the easier it becomes to show up for yourself. This positive, loving, healing circle is one of the very best experiences in life!

Self-abandonment is also circular – the more you abandon yourself the worse you feel, and the worse you feel, the more you tend to abandon yourself. The practice Inner Bonding turns this circular dynamic toward powerful healing – for yourself and for those you care about. The more you love yourself, the more you are capable of loving your partner, and the more you and your partner share love, the easier it becomes to love yourself.

This beautiful healing circle starts with learning to love yourself.

Heal your relationship with Dr. Margaret’s 30-Day online video relationship course: Wildly, Deeply, Joyously in Love.



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