Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another.
Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.
Of course we long for connection when we don’t have it in our lives. But sometimes it seems elusive – even in committed relationships.
Larissa asked me, “Am I being needy when I am longing for connection with my spouse?”
A good question, and the answer is not simple.
If you are longing for connection with your spouse because you are feeling alone and empty inside and you hope that he will fill you up and make you feel worthy and lovable, then the answer is yes – you are being needy. Continue reading Longing For Connection
Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.
Lauren asks:
“I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and resentful that I can hardly look at my husband in the eye let alone be loving to him. I feel my inner self tell me its time to be done. But my mind tells me differently because of our wonderful children. Trying to find out if there is hope for our relationship or if I can truly feel love/intimacy for him without sacrificing my own health?”
Lauren, I don’t know enough about your relationship to know whether or not there is hope for your marriage, but what I do know is that there is much inner work for you to do before deciding that it’s time to leave. Continue reading “Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”
Have you wondered why you may be having a hard time connecting with others? “Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself.” – Thomas Moore
Is sex mostly gone out of your relationship? There are always good reasons for this.
Do you identify with Lawrence, whose wife won’t have sex with him? In my work with individuals and couples, I often hear this complaint. Lawrence asks:
“Would you please address how one deals with the anger, frustration, hurt, etc., . . . → Read More: “My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me “
Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you?
What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both you and them.
There are mainly two kinds of conversations: one-way conversations and two-way conversations.
One-Way Conversations
My client, Henry, complained to me that his girlfriend, Giselle, rarely asks him questions about himself, and when she does, she doesn’t respond to his answer but instead goes into something about her. While he is very attracted to her, he is starting to feel lonely with her and uncared for by her. However, Henry does not take loving care of himself in the relationship. From the beginning, because he was so attracted to Giselle, he ignored the signs that something was amiss in the relationship. He was afraid to speak up for himself and ask her, with a true intent to learn, why she does this. Now that they have been together for four months, this is becoming a big issue with him. But all this time Giselle thought it was okay with Henry that she did this, since he never said anything. Continue reading The Art of Conversation
Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can’t figure out how?
I was having a Skype session with Andrea and Lawrence. Married for 18 years with two teen-age children, their marriage was strained. When I asked Lawrence how things were going between them, his answer was the same as always: “Fine.” When I asked Andrea the same question, she got a pained look on her face. “Things are okay, but not great. I’m lonely with Lawrence so much of the time. We just can’t seem to connect.”
Comments are closed 
Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with 
