Do you often try to get a task over with, or even get life over with? Do you have problems staying in the moment and enjoying the process of something, rather than just completing a task?
How often do you find yourself wanting to finish something or to get something over with, rather than being in the moment with whatever is happening? How often does accomplishing the goal seem more important than being in the process? Why is it often more important to complete something than to savor the process, moment by moment?
My client Jacob always has a list of what he needs to do and he feels safe and worthy when he can check things off his list. His list keeps him busy with the next task and the next, leaving him no time to be present in the moment. When I ask Jacob, during a phone session, to go inside and feel what he is feeling in the moment, he tells me that it doesn’t feel very good to be inside his body. He doesn’t like to be present because he is often in emotional pain. Continue reading Are You Living Your Life or Just Getting It Over With?
Have you ever wondered if your desire to share time with a partner is coming from need or neediness?
Sometimes it’s a challenge to know what are reasonable relationship needs and when we are being needy.
Klarese is asking this important question:
“I am currently dating a wonderful person who I care about greatly. A challenge for me is his job is very demanding leaving us little time to spend together. I am aware my childhood triggers of abandonment are being tickled, however, I am having a difficult time figuring out if I am being reasonable or unreasonable with my need for attention. How do I discriminate between my codependent ‘needs’ and my true need to love and be loved while living my own fulfilled life?”
Each of us has the right to want whatever amount of attention we want in a relationship. Some people love to spend a lot of time together and others need less time together. There is nothing wrong with Klarese wanting more time with a partner. Continue reading “Is My Need For Attention Reasonable or Needy?”
When you were growing up, did you feel important to your parents? Did they attend to you in loving ways to show you how important you were to them? Or, did you often feel like a bother or a burden to them?
How is your relationship with your partner? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?
When you and your partner are both operating as loving adults, you will experience many positive results. When one or both of you are operating from your wounded self, you will experience many negative results. Since no one is able to be a loving adult all the time, it is likely that you experience a combination of positives and negatives.
Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another.
Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.
Of course we long for connection when we don’t have it in our lives. But sometimes it seems elusive – even in committed relationships.
Larissa asked me, “Am I being needy when I am longing for connection with my spouse?”
A good question, and the answer is not simple.
If you are longing for connection with your spouse because you are feeling alone and empty inside and you hope that he will fill you up and make you feel worthy and lovable, then the answer is yes – you are being needy. Continue reading Longing For Connection
When someone’s behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them?
We Are Not Separate
Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others‘ unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”
Comments are closed 
Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with 
