Do you often try to get a task over with, or even get life over with? Do you have problems staying in the moment and enjoying the process of something, rather than just completing a task?
How often do you find yourself wanting to finish something or to get something over with, rather than being in the moment with whatever is happening? How often does accomplishing the goal seem more important than being in the process? Why is it often more important to complete something than to savor the process, moment by moment?
My client Jacob always has a list of what he needs to do and he feels safe and worthy when he can check things off his list. His list keeps him busy with the next task and the next, leaving him no time to be present in the moment. When I ask Jacob, during a phone session, to go inside and feel what he is feeling in the moment, he tells me that it doesn’t feel very good to be inside his body. He doesn’t like to be present because he is often in emotional pain. Continue reading Are You Living Your Life or Just Getting It Over With?
Our imagination is a great gift – a connection with our Divine Source – when we use it from an inwardly connected loving Adult to create the life we want.
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
We are often told that in order to manifest our dreams, we need to be able to imagine them. I have personally found this to be true, and I’ve also discovered that there is a big difference between imagining and daydreaming.
Is sexual addiction a real thing, or just an excuse for bad behavior?
In a recent article in CNN.com Blogs, (http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/29/new-book-questions-the-myth-of-sex-addiction/?hpt=hp_bn12) psychologist David Ley states in his new book, “The Myth of Sex Addiction,” that there is no such thing as sex addiction—that the term is just an excuse for bad behavior. I disagree with that position. In my view, the label of ‘addiction’ doesn’t excuse anything. That’s because my definition of addiction is anything we do to avoid taking responsibility for our feelings and the resulting behavior. Since my definition centers around choice, it is not about an illness that is ‘happening’ to you, and therefore cannot be used as an excuse.
In my experience, addictions are a result, not a cause. While they can cause many severe problems and even death, the underlying cause is the avoidance of responsibility for one’s own emotions, and sex addiction is no exception. Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Sexual Addiction?
I grew up with a very angry mother who would attack me out of the blue. As a highly sensitive only child, the fear and heartbreak of being treated so unlovingly was unbearable. So rather than feel the hurt, I numbed it out by learning to stay in my head rather than being present in my body, and by focusing on caretaking others’ feelings. The only way I could survive was to not know that I was being so hurt.
I had so deeply shut out knowing about my own pain that when I had children, I thought nothing about yelling at them. One day, as I was yelling at my son Josh, who was about 2 ½, he looked up at me with tears running down his cheeks and said, “Mommy, when you yell at me, I feel like I’m gonna die.” Continue reading When You Feel Hurt By Your Partner
Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette