Are you afraid to go deeper into personal growth and learning? Discover why this might be so and what you can do about it.
I’d had three phone sessions with Anika when I decided it was time to approach her about her intent. In my experience, she believed she was open to learning, but was completely closed to learning about herself. We were getting stuck because when I would reflect something to her about herself, she would get defensive, obviously feeling attacked by me. Continue reading Do You Have The Courage to Learn About Yourself?
If you tend to isolate, and you believe that isolating protects you from getting hurt, you might be surprised to learn of the harm you are causing yourself.
In my counseling practice, I often have clients who tend to isolate as a way of protecting against their fears – especially their fears of rejection and engulfment. They are so afraid of being disliked, disapproved of, attacked or having demands made on them, that they choose to avoid relationships, rather than learn how to deal with these challenging situations.
These people have never developed a loving Adult self, who knows how to take loving care of them when others are angry, rejecting or demanding. They believe they prefer loneliness over the challenge of relationships. Continue reading Do You Isolate?
“Feeling bitter interferes with the body’s hormonal and immune systems, according to Carsten Wrosch, an associate professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal….”
“The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous. The data is just as established as smoking, and the size of the effect is the same.”
–Dr. Charles Raison
Blame ignites the body’s fight or flight stress mechanism. If we actually fight, then the stress hormones will dissipate, but “When our bodies are constantly primed to fight someone, the increase in blood pressure and in chemicals such as C-reactive protein eventually take a toll on the heart and other parts of the body” states Raison.
The news stories of sexual addiction lead us to ask “Why?”
One of the sad truths in our society is how empty many people feel, and the devastation their emptiness causes others through their resulting addictive behavior.
We have all heard about the sexual acting-out of Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton and John Edwards. We all know about the many famous people who end up in treatment centers for alcohol and drug addiction.
The question is: why? Why would someone who seemingly has everything destroy their own life, and the lives of those they are close to, with their addictions to sex, alcohol or drugs?
It’s true that these high-profile people seem to have everything that our society deems important for happiness and self-esteem – money and all that money can buy, relationships and fame. What is it that creates the desperate need to act out addictively when they have so much? Continue reading The Devastation of Inner Emptiness
“I can’t seem to stop snacking,” said Linda, in our phone session. “And I can’t figure out why. I don’t overeat during meals, but then I snack on things that I don’t need to be eating. I’ve had this issue on and off since adolescence and I want to resolve it.”
“Linda, right now, take yourself back to the last time you snacked. See if you can tune into what was going on and what you were feeling.”
“It happened a lot this last weekend. I had some work I needed to get done I didn’t want to do it. Snacking is a way of putting it off for a bit.” Continue reading “I Feel Trapped”
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