The Color of Conflict

This 1 minute inspirational video can remind you of the opportunities to learn that are inherent in all conflict.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. . . . → Read More: The Color of Conflict

Trying to Control Makes us Miserable

Have you ever noticed how bad you feel when you try to control things you can’t control – such as others and outcomes?

Larry consulted with me because he was often miserable – despite running a successful business, and having a lovely wife and two daughters, whom he adored.

It soon became apparent that Larry was deeply addicted to controlling everything – his own feelings, how others felt about him, how well his employees performed, what his wife did for him, how well his children did in school, and whether or not anyone ever took advantage of him. His primary intent in life was to be in control and not be controlled. Continue reading Trying to Control Makes us Miserable

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Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over – primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.

I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I asked them to discuss the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues.

I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:

  • The issue itself, such as their conflict regarding limits for their children;
  • The intent with which they were discussing the issue.

There are only two possible intents in discussing an issue with your partner: Continue reading Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over?

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Are You Making These 4 Mistakes?

I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn’t like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I’ve learned so much.

In this article, I’m going to discuss the 4 major mistakes that I used to make and that so many of my counseling clients make before working with me.

Self-judgment

I used to judge and shame myself unmercifully, although mostly unconsciously. Until I started to pay attention to my anxiety, stress, and insecurity, I never realized how much I judged and shamed myself. Continue reading Are You Making These 4 Mistakes?

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The Law of Attraction – It’s About Frequency

Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction – that like attracts like. However, many are confused about what this really means.

In my experience, like attracts like means that like frequency attracts like frequency. My high frequency attracts the things I want and my low frequency attracts the things I don’t want.

The question then becomes, what raises or lowers frequency?

What Lowers Frequency? Continue reading The Law of Attraction – It’s About Frequency

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Relationships and Emotional Connection

Do you want emotional connection but can’t seem to create it in your relationships? Learn how in this article! . . . → Read More: Relationships and Emotional Connection