Betrayal is one of the hardest things to go through, and it is vitally important that you deal with it in a way that doesn’t cause you even more pain.
It is devastating when someone whom we believe cares about us betrays us – lies, cheats, breaks a sacred promise, hurts us behind our back, steals from us, turns others against us and so on.
Releasing the feelings rather than staying stuck with them
It is vitally important to find healthy ways of releasing the outrage, heartbreak and helplessness over the other person that occurs in betrayal. The first step in releasing these very painful feelings is to move into compassion for yourself. Too often, we may blame ourselves for not seeing the signs of betrayal and getting caught unawares, but we must remember that we are human and can’t always know what’s happening. Continue reading 3 Steps to Healing from Betrayal
Discover why you might be obsessing about an ex and how to stop.
“How do I stop allowing my ex to consume my thoughts?” asks Tammy.
“Is your ex consuming your thoughts, or are you consumed with your ex?” I ask.
“What’s the difference?” Tammy asks.
“The difference is that you are asking the question in such as way as to indicate that your ex is doing something, i.e. somehow consuming your thoughts. But is your ex really doing something, or are you choosing to be consumed with thoughts of your ex?”
Breaking down keeps you stuck, while breaking open allows you to discover the power within yourself.
“Something I didn’t want to happen, happens. I feel the resistance build within. I feel the pressure to control what is obviously out of my control. I become aware of what I’m doing—I become aware of the choice either to break down or to break open.” Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open, p. 256
How aware are you that when bad things happen or something that you didn’t want to happen, happens, you have a choice of whether to break down or break open? This is what Elizabeth Lesser’s book, Broken Open, is about. It’s about using all our challenging life situations to open, on deeper and deeper levels, to our true, core essential selves. Unfortunately, many people do the opposite when deeply challenged—they numb and hide and avoid. They are afraid that if they let themselves break open to their deeper, spiritual selves, they will not be able to handle the painful feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, grief and helplessness over others and circumstances. Continue reading Breaking Down or Breaking Open
Are you allowing the hand you were dealt to determine what you do in life, or are you willing to make the best of a poor hand?
“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London
Research indicates that holding good cards is actually of great benefit in life. People born into wealthy families, who are emotionally and financially supported to become all they can be, have a great advantage over people from poor and emotionally unsupportive families. People who have to overcome childhood abuse have a much harder time in life than those who were loved. While some challenges do make us stronger, huge challenges such as severe childhood abuse can take such an emotional, spiritual and physical toll that the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” doesn’t always hold true.
Despite all that, each of us has the opportunity to play a poor hand well. Each of us has the opportunity to learn and grow from the big challenges in our lives. Continue reading Persistence: Playing a Poor Hand Well
Do you inspire others with your caring energy, or do you bring others down with your misery?
“You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” —Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Television Personality
What is your primary intention with others – to share uplifting, caring energy, or to get sympathy?
Getting Sympathy
When you are complaining, whining, and being generally gloomy with others, what do you want? Are you trying to connect with them through getting their sympathy? Are you trying to fill some inner emptiness through getting them to feel sorry for you? Have you been programmed to believe that the only way to connect is to share misery and complaints? Do you compete for having the worst complaints – the worst illness, the worst rejections, the worst unfairness, the worst day? Do you ever think to yourself when hearing another’s complaint, “Big deal, that’s nothing. Wait until you hear what I’m going through.” Continue reading Are you Inspiring or Gloomy?
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