Inspirational Video: Be Who You Are

Do you know who you are? When you know who you are, you can be who you are. Watching this 1 minute movie, “Be Who You Are,” will remind you of who you are!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: Be Who You Are

Burned by Coffee or Burned by Heartbreak – They Feel the Same

“Science has finally confirmed what anyone who’s ever been in love already knows: Heartbreak really does hurt.” http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/28/burn.heartbreak.same.to.brain/index.html

“In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you.

In other words, the brain doesn’t appear to firmly distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain. Heartache and painful breakups are “more than just metaphors,” says Ethan Kross, Ph.D., the lead researcher and an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor.”

Heartbreak might even hurt more than being burned by coffee. While no one wants to be physically burned, most people are far more focused on having control over not experiencing the pain of heartbreak than the pain of a coffee burn. Continue reading Burned by Coffee or Burned by Heartbreak – They Feel the Same

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The Myth of Explaining and Defending

“What’s the matter with you?”
“How could you do that?”
“Explain yourself, young lady/young man.”
“Why are you dressed like that?”
“Why are you late again?”
“What did you do to your hair!”

How often did you hear some variation of this when you were growing up? I heard it all the time. And what I learned to do was to desperately defend and explain in fruitless attempts to get my mom or dad to stop judging me and SEE me. Or I would apologize and become the “good girl,” so they would approve of me. Continue reading The Myth of Explaining and Defending

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Are You Making These 4 Mistakes?

I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn’t like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I’ve learned so much.

In this article, I’m going to discuss the 4 major mistakes that I used to make and that so many of my counseling clients make before working with me.

Self-judgment

I used to judge and shame myself unmercifully, although mostly unconsciously. Until I started to pay attention to my anxiety, stress, and insecurity, I never realized how much I judged and shamed myself. Continue reading Are You Making These 4 Mistakes?

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Self-Validation – How to Validate Yourself

Do you now how to validate yourself or are you dependent for your sense of worth on others approval and validation? Learn how now! . . . → Read More: Self-Validation – How to Validate Yourself

Are Kindness and Tenderness Signs of Weakness?

Are you confusing gentleness and kindness with weakness? Discover what weakness really is and how to acquire the strength to be kind and gentle. . . . → Read More: Are Kindness and Tenderness Signs of Weakness?