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By Dr. Margaret Paul May 04, 2020 There is a vast difference between the pseudo-strength of controlling behavior and the actual strength of loving behavior. “My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.” “My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the . . . → Read More: What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong If you grew up in a family where one or both parents used anger to control you, then anger likely plays a role in your life now. Did you grow up with anger in your household? Did one or both of your parents use anger as a way to keep you in line . . . → Read More: Anger And Other Forms of Control Discover the major cause of relationship failure and what to do about it. Most people, when asked if they want a loving relationship, will say that having a loving relationship is one of the two most important things to them – along with having work they love. Why, then, do so many relationships fail? If we want to go deeply into why relationships fail, we need to go all the way back to the parental relationship. Continue reading Why Relationships Fail       Are you aware of the feelings you cause yourself when you attempt to control others rather than love yourself? “I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.” – Thomas Jefferson When your intent is to control others, are you . . . → Read More: Does Controlling Others Make You Feel Happy?  Comments are closed  Self Improvement & Personal Growth  anger, blaming, compliance, controlling behavior, emotional safety, happiness, Inner Bonding, joy, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, self esteem, self-love, shaming My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself?” here are the most common answers I receive: “I want to keep the peace.” “What’s the matter with you?” How often did you hear some variation of this when you were growing up? I heard it all the time. And what I learned to do was to desperately defend and explain in fruitless attempts to get my mom or dad to stop judging me and SEE me. Or I would apologize and become the “good girl,” so they would approve of me. Continue reading The Myth of Explaining and Defending |
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