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By Dr. Margaret Paul May 04, 2020 There is a vast difference between the pseudo-strength of controlling behavior and the actual strength of loving behavior. “My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.” “My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the . . . → Read More: What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong Do you find yourself resisting or procrastinating taking loving care of yourself
Of course you want to be healthy and fit! Who doesn’t? But are you always motivated and willing to do what you need to do to create health and fitness? Are you motivated to:
       Comments are closed  Self Improvement & Personal Growth  Addictions, exercise, food, health, Inner Bonding, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, nutrition, procrastination, resistance, rewire your brain, self-care, well-being Many of us know that we need to be loving to ourselves, but what does this actually mean? Since most of us had little or no role modeling regarding loving ourselves when we were growing up, it’s often challenging to know what loving ourselves looks like. It’s through my work with my inner . . . → Read More: What Does It Mean To Love Yourself? Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this.
Angela writes:
“I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going to die, even when I am in the presence of other people that are in conflict. I am aware that I abandon myself many times because I do not stand or fight for what I believe is right for me. I know we are going to encounter conflict in our daily life, it is part of it and I do not want to keep on feeling small at the presence of conflict. I want to be able to speak my truth, ask for what I need or stand for what I believe is right. How can I transform this, that is, how can I handle the anxiety and approach conflict in a more centered way?” I completely understand what Angela experiences, as I used to feel the same anxiety, feeling like I was going to die. It took me many years to understand what I needed to do in conflict to no longer fear it. Continue reading Staying Centered in Conflict A client of mine asked, “Is there such a thing as healthy caretaking?” Here is the answer! I was trained by my mother and grandmother to be a caretaker. The messages were: “Your feelings are not important to us at all. You need to learn to completely ignore your own feelings and instead take care of our feelings. In return for this, we will occasionally give you some approval for being a good girl.” I learned my lessons well. I learned to stay in my head rather than my heart and soul so that I wouldn’t be aware of my own feelings. I learned to be very vigilant regarding others’ feelings and to do all I could to be what they wanted me to be. I completely lost touch with myself. Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking? Comments are closed Relationships caregiving, caretaking, caring, controlling behavior, health, Inner Bonding, loving yourself, manipulation, Margaret Paul, self-abandonment, self-care Were you taught that if you were nice others would be nice? “I had this really terrible interaction on the phone with a customer on Tuesday,” Carlton told me in our Skype session. “This guy was so closed and controlling. He just kept yelling about what he wanted me to do. I was being really nice, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. The conversation went on for an hour and we didn’t get anywhere. He just kept acting crazy. I ended up exhausted and drained. Why do people have to be like that?” Carlton is a really ‘nice guy.’ The problem is he believes that his niceness is a way to control getting closed people to open. This was not the first time I’d heard about someone acting ‘crazy’ with Carlton. He had just ended a relationship with a woman who did the same thing. Continue reading Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open? Comments are closed Relationships controlling behavior, controlling with niceness, Inner Bonding, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, nice guy, self-abandonment, self-care, self-love |
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