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Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff By Dr. Margaret Paul April 26, 2021
Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship? Are you committed to working through the difficult . . . → Read More: Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff  Comments are closed  Relationships, Self Improvement & Personal Growth  Abandonment, engulfment, healing, rejection, Relationships In your daily life, are you guided by fear or by love? What are the fears that block being loving to yourself and others? How often is the question, “What is loving to myself and others – what is in my highest good and the highest good of another?” the question that guides your actions? Is there something in the way of you asking this question? What is the fear that gets in the way of loving yourself? Ethan’s fear is that “If I open to loving, I will be weak and then easily taken advantage of. I might lose my sharpness in business and then lose money. Business people will see that I’m a soft touch and run right over me.” Continue reading What Prevents You From Loving Yourself?       Is your experience of love that it is scarce and limited? “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Love never decreases by being shared. ~Chinese Proverb There seems to be a myth that love is scarce – that there is only . . . → Read More: Can We Run Out Of Love? Comments are closed Relationships Abandonment, attachment anxiety, child abuse, compassion, emotional healing, fear of pain, God, God is love, Inner Bonding, Jealousy, love, Margaret Paul, rejection, self-compassion, spirituality, unconditional love Discover what you may need to address before deciding whether you can be friends with an ex partner.
Elise writes:
“My partner and I separated a year ago. My partner now wants to finalize the relationship but work on being ‘friends’. I am having difficulty connecting as just ‘friends’, it seems to trigger all my old wounds of rejection and abandonment. Do you have any advice?” Elise, the fact that your old rejection and abandonment wounds are getting triggered is a great opportunity for you to become aware of how you are rejecting and abandoning yourself. This is the real issue in the present. Old rejection and abandonment wounds get healed when we learn to give ourselves the love, compassion, gentleness, tenderness, caring and understanding that we didn’t receive as children. As children, our parents or other caregivers created these wounds in us with their unloving behavior. Now, these triggered wounds likely indicate that you are treating yourself the way your parents treated you and themselves. Continue reading “Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?” Do you know what triggers you and why?
Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, anger, blame, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal, numbness, dissociation, explaining, complaining, lecturing, righteousness and so on. These triggered feelings are generally attached to previous traumatic events, such as:
Comments are closed Relationships Abandonment, abuse, being triggered, buried memories, emotional trauma, Inner Bonding, inner child, loving adult, Margaret Paul, PTSD, self-abandonment, trauma, Triggers Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you – or do they come from self-abandonment?
When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.
As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you. It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself. Most people don’t think about how they abandon themselves because they don’t recognize that they are responsible for themselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally. Continue reading Are You Abandoning Yourself? |
 Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette |
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