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If you are single, do you relate to any of these false beliefs about being in a relationship? I have discovered that many of the single people I work with have a number of false beliefs about relationships. If you are single, do you identify with any of these beliefs? People In Relationships Are . . . → Read More: Single? What Are Your False Beliefs About Relationships? Have you ever wondered why God allows so much abuse, so much pain, so much war? “God has no hands but these.” – Mother Theresa I am often asked by my clients, “If God is all powerful, why didn’t he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle or a stranger) . . . → Read More: “Why Didn’t God Stop The Abuse?”  Comments are closed  Spiritual Growth  abuse, child abuse, children, God, God's hands, heartbreak, Inner Bonding, loneliness, love, Margaret Paul, Mother Theresa, spirit, spirituality Have you wondered why you may be having a hard time connecting with others? “Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself.” – Thomas Moore Do you try to create intimacy with your . . . → Read More: Intimacy With Others Starts From Within Comments are closed Relationships atheist, connection, emotional connection, heartbreak, Inner Bonding, intimacy, loneliness, love, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, Relationships, self-abandonment, spiritual guidance, spirituality What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?
What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:
“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.” Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”       Do you have an expectation that if you were emotionally healthy, you would not feel hurt in the face of others’ judgments or uncaring behavior? This is not true! Let me explain. When you are emotionally healthy, you are less likely to be devastated by others’ behaviors, because you have learned to not take them personally. But your heart can still feel loneliness and heartache in response to others’ unloving behavior. It is very important to learn to lovingly manage these core painful feelings of the heart. The feelings of loneliness and heartache have vital information for you about what is going on with another person. They tell you whether the other person is open or closed, loving or unloving. You need this information in order to make good decisions about how to take care of yourself around others. Continue reading “How Can I Not Get Hurt By Others’ Judgments?” Do you judge yourself for the past? Discover why and what to do about it. Brianna wrote to me, asking: “I am having a difficult time forgiving myself of past mistakes and it feels like it haunts me every morning and I get bogged down in swirling thoughts which only holds me back . . . → Read More: Why Can’t I Forgive Myself For My Mistakes? |
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