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Do you find that as soon as you really like someone – whether as a friend or as a partner – you ‘lose your cool?’ Relationships offer us more opportunities for personal growth than just about anything else in life. But sometime the opportunities are very challenging! For example, Larry asks: “Whenever I . . . → Read More: “I Lose My Cool In Relationships.”  Comments are closed  Relationships  higher power, Inner Bonding, inner child, loving adult, Self Help, self worth, self-abandonment, self-judgment, self-rejection Many of us know that we need to be loving to ourselves, but what does this actually mean? Since most of us had little or no role modeling regarding loving ourselves when we were growing up, it’s often challenging to know what loving ourselves looks like. It’s through my work with my inner . . . → Read More: What Does It Mean To Love Yourself? Dealing with critical people, especially a parent, is a challenge for all of us. Here are some options for dealing with a critical mother.
Having a critical mother is a big challenge. I know, because I grew up with an extremely critical mother. I can certainly relate to Lori, who asked the follow question:
“Dr. Paul, my question is about what to do to take care of myself with my mother. She comes to visit me every so often, brings her husband along, and goes out of her way to put down everything about my life and the city I live in when she is here. It is heart breaking because I am a loving person and choose to keep my heart open, yet she goes out of her way to hurt me by putting down my life. I want to be me, and be loving and giving, yet it hurts a lot to be open with her. Can you provide some Inner Bonding thoughts on this? Thank you so much!” Continue reading “How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother?”       Comments are closed Parenting compassion, Criticism, emotional connection, Inner Bonding, inner child, intent to learn, judgmental, Margaret Paul, projection, Self Help, self-abandonment Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this.
Angela writes:
“I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going to die, even when I am in the presence of other people that are in conflict. I am aware that I abandon myself many times because I do not stand or fight for what I believe is right for me. I know we are going to encounter conflict in our daily life, it is part of it and I do not want to keep on feeling small at the presence of conflict. I want to be able to speak my truth, ask for what I need or stand for what I believe is right. How can I transform this, that is, how can I handle the anxiety and approach conflict in a more centered way?” I completely understand what Angela experiences, as I used to feel the same anxiety, feeling like I was going to die. It took me many years to understand what I needed to do in conflict to no longer fear it. Continue reading Staying Centered in Conflict Do you know what triggers you and why?
Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, anger, blame, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal, numbness, dissociation, explaining, complaining, lecturing, righteousness and so on. These triggered feelings are generally attached to previous traumatic events, such as:
Comments are closed Relationships Abandonment, abuse, being triggered, buried memories, emotional trauma, Inner Bonding, inner child, loving adult, Margaret Paul, PTSD, self-abandonment, trauma, Triggers Are you addicted to porn and not feeling good about it? Discover the likely underlying cause and what to do about it.
I received the following question when I was conducting a webinar on sexual addiction:
“I have had a pornography addiction since I was a teenager. I am now in my mid 30’s. For the past four months I have abstained through Inner Child work, but two days ago I visited a porn site and masturbated. I feel really sad about this. What is the best way to address this?” Pornography addiction is quite common. At one of my Five-Day Couples’ Intensives, one of the men was working on his porn addiction and was feeling embarrassed about it. In an effort to help him, I asked, “How many of you are addicted to porn?” Among the six couples there, four of the men raised their hands. Continue reading Addicted to Porn? Comments are closed Addictions compassion, connection, emotional healing, grief, heartbreak, Inner Bonding, inner child, loneliness, Margaret Paul, porn, pornography |
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