Love is not something that can be described – it needs to be experienced, and when you experience it through loving yourself, you will know how to love.
We read many things about what love is and what it isn’t to help us understand love. But love is not something we can understand from our mind. Until we experience it, we don’t actually know what it is or how to experience it in our lives.
Is it love when a parent allows a baby to cry and cry, to get them on a schedule or get them to sleep? No!
Is it love when a parent hits a child and says, “I’m doing this because I love you”? Of course not.
Do you get stuck not knowing what to say or do when your partner treats you disrespectfully?
Louise asked me:
“Do you have any suggestions on what to say when my husband says unloving words to me in front of others, including our children? I don’t want my kids to keep witnessing disrespectful behavior toward their mother. When I challenge his treatment of me, his anger escalates and the chastisement worsens. I am frequently embarrassed when I am scolded like this in front of others, but more importantly, I wish my children to understand that this is not ok. How can I model what to say to him so that my kids can learn how to take loving care of themselves in such situations?”
Do you have problems committing to a relationship, or are you involved with someone who has a fear of commitment?
Louis wrote to me:
“I have been dating an amazing girl, but recently ended it because I am not sure if she is good for me. Our relationship has been very dramatic, partially due . . . → Read More: Why Can’t I Commit?
Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others.
Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.”
Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.”
Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong.
Do you have the common false belief that the better you feel about yourself, the more alone you will be?
Yolanda asks:
“What is coming up for me is — if I completely move out of self-judgment and fully take the responsibility to actualize the deepest yearnings of my Soul, I will be SO POWERFUL that NOBODY . . . → Read More: “If I Move Into My Power, Will I End Up Alone?”
Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance.
Lauren asks:
“I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and resentful that I can hardly look at my husband in the eye let alone be loving to him. I feel my inner self tell me its time to be done. But my mind tells me differently because of our wonderful children. Trying to find out if there is hope for our relationship or if I can truly feel love/intimacy for him without sacrificing my own health?”
Lauren, I don’t know enough about your relationship to know whether or not there is hope for your marriage, but what I do know is that there is much inner work for you to do before deciding that it’s time to leave. Continue reading “Is There Hope For Our Relationship?”
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