“If I Move Into My Power, Will I End Up Alone?”

Do you have the common false belief that the better you feel about yourself, the more alone you will be?

Yolanda asks:

“What is coming up for me is — if I completely move out of self-judgment and fully take the responsibility to actualize the deepest yearnings of my Soul, I will be SO POWERFUL that NOBODY WILL LIKE ME. So I have this lurking fear ‘If I am too powerful, I will be alone‘. How do I transcend this fear/belief?”

I understand this fear since I used to have the same false belief. My mother was a weak and frightened woman who was deeply threatened by me. She did everything she could to make sure that I wouldn’t surpass her, including screaming at me and withdrawing her love from me. It was never clear to me as I was growing up what she was always so upset about, and I eventually concluded that she was upset at me being me. It wasn’t okay for me to know what I know, to be the natural leader that I am, or even to get good grades in school. I experienced over and over the loneliness of being not liked and alone when I was just being me. So I erroneously, and subconsciously, concluded that others would react the same way as my mother did.

In school I learned that boys were often threatened by strong and smart girls, so I learned to tone down my intensity and hide my grades.

After 30 years of marriage to a man who was threatened by my power, I finally left and faced the fear of being alone. I had decided that I would rather end up alone than continue to abandon myself.

For a while, I was very alone. People were upset with me for no longer caretaking them. But I discovered that my real friends applauded my choice to finally be loving to myself.

Then I learned an astounding thing! We attract at our common level of woundedness or our common level of health. The healthier I got, the more I attracted other healthy people into my life. While the people who were continuing to abandon themselves certainly didn’t like me, the people who were loving themselves did!

It was my wounded self who told me the lie that if I moved into my power I would end up alone. My wounded self, patterned after my parents, wanted to keep me down, to feel safe from rejection. But as I took the risk of being more and more authentically me, I felt safer rather than less safe. I realized that I didn’t want or need the people in my life who weren’t able to like me when I was in my power.

I wanted to be around people who loved and valued themselves and wanted to share love with me, and the only way I could have this was to love myself.

The practice of Inner Bonding has completely changed all my relationships. I no longer fear being alone. First of all, my inner child knows that she is never alone – that I’m here for her and Spirit is here for her. Second, my frequency attracts people of like frequency – like attracts like.

Yolanda, what I want to say to you is that the more you embrace your power, the more you will attract people into your life who not only embrace their power, but who find joy in supporting you in your power. A person who loves themselves finds great joy in supporting others in loving themselves, and great joy in sharing love with open and loving people.

So reassure your wounded self that she is mistaken. Being your true powerful self does not mean you will end up alone!

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone and Skype Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!