 
|
|
|
Have you wondered why you may be having a hard time connecting with others? “Intimacy begins with oneself. It does no good to try to find intimacy with friends, lovers, and family if you are starting out from alienation and division within yourself.” – Thomas Moore Do you try to create intimacy with your . . . → Read More: Intimacy With Others Starts From Within  Comments are closed  Relationships  atheist, connection, emotional connection, heartbreak, Inner Bonding, intimacy, loneliness, love, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, Relationships, self-abandonment, spiritual guidance, spirituality What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?
What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:
“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.” Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?”       Do you have an expectation that if you were emotionally healthy, you would not feel hurt in the face of others’ judgments or uncaring behavior? This is not true! Let me explain. When you are emotionally healthy, you are less likely to be devastated by others’ behaviors, because you have learned to not take them personally. But your heart can still feel loneliness and heartache in response to others’ unloving behavior. It is very important to learn to lovingly manage these core painful feelings of the heart. The feelings of loneliness and heartache have vital information for you about what is going on with another person. They tell you whether the other person is open or closed, loving or unloving. You need this information in order to make good decisions about how to take care of yourself around others. Continue reading “How Can I Not Get Hurt By Others’ Judgments?” Do you judge yourself for the past? Discover why and what to do about it. Brianna wrote to me, asking: “I am having a difficult time forgiving myself of past mistakes and it feels like it haunts me every morning and I get bogged down in swirling thoughts which only holds me back . . . → Read More: Why Can’t I Forgive Myself For My Mistakes? Are you afraid to open your heart to love, for fear of getting hurt? Learn how to lovingly manage the hurt. Is it possible to fully love without getting hurt? The answer is unequivocally NO! Is this because love hurts? Again, the answer is NO! It is not love that hurts. It’s loss of . . . → Read More: “I Want To Open But I’m Scared of Getting Hurt.” Discover why you may be sabotaging and punishing yourself with your self-judgment and self-rejection. Would you love to manifest your dreams and have the life you want? Most people would unhesitatingly respond with a resounding “YES!” Yet, do you sometimes find yourself sabotaging yourself in achieving this? Georgette finds herself in this position and . . . → Read More: “How Do I Stop Sabotaging Myself?” |
 Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette |
|
Copyright © 2024 Dr. Margaret Paul - All Rights Reserved |
|
