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Are you able to stand in your truth, or do you let others talk you out of what you know is right for you? When the biblical floods hit Colorado on September 12th, I texted my daughter to see if they were okay. “We’re Ok, the house isn’t.” I called immediately. “There’s a six . . . → Read More: Standing Strong In Your Own Truth Dating is challenging for many. Here are some tips to turn it into a learning adventure. Sometimes, dating can be discouraging, or it can be a learning experience. One of the things I encourage my dating clients to do is to use their experience to hone their intuitive skills – starting from the first . . . → Read More: First-Date Blues – What Can you Learn?  Comments are closed  Relationships, Self Improvement & Personal Growth  dating, dating blues, fear of engulfment, fear of rejection, first date blues, Inner Bonding, inner emptiness, loving relationships, Margaret Paul, mindset, narcissism, neediness, people-pleaser, people-pleasing, Relationships, taking things personally Are you stuck in your life, fearing that you will fail if you go for what you really want? You CAN get unstuck! “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and . . . → Read More: Succeeding Through Failure Are you aware of the feelings you cause yourself when you attempt to control others rather than love yourself? “I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.” – Thomas Jefferson When your intent is to control others, are you . . . → Read More: Does Controlling Others Make You Feel Happy? Comments are closed Self Improvement & Personal Growth anger, blaming, compliance, controlling behavior, emotional safety, happiness, Inner Bonding, joy, loving yourself, Margaret Paul, self esteem, self-love, shaming Most of us lead very busy lives and it is easy to become overwhelmed with all we need to do. In addition, about 15% to 20% of us are born with highly sensitive nervous systems that are far more reactive to having a lot to do than the general population. Since I have a very highly sensitive nervous system, I understand how easily some of us can become overwhelmed by the demands of life. I have learned some powerful tools for managing overwhelm that I will share with you as I answer the following questions about overwhelm. Leslie asked: “I feel overwhelmed when I have many things to do and they all seem equally important. How do I decide where to start without feeling that perhaps I need to be doing one of the other things instead?” Continue reading “How Can I Manage Overwhelm?”       What’s really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling?
What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find yourself taking it personally and blaming yourself? This is what Melinda struggles with:
“How do I take loving care of myself when my partner is acting out with jealousy that he is not acknowledging? I feel blamed and shamed. It somehow feels like there’s something wrong with me, or something I’m doing even though there isn’t. What do I do with the shame? How do I love myself through it? His reaction can last a few hours or even a few days.” Melinda, your partner’s blaming and shaming of you are his ways of avoiding responsibility for his own feelings. But the real question is, why are you taking on the blame and shame? Why are you taking his behavior personally? Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Shame When I’m Being Blamed?” |
 Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with Alanis Morissette |
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