Are you aware of the system you have created with your partner that may be causing you pain?
I have worked with couples for 44 years, and one thing I can tell you for sure: relationships are a system, and each partner has an equal part of the system. People come together at their common level of woundedness – their common level of self-abandonment. In many relationships, each partner is very aware of the other person’s end of the system, but completely unaware of their own end. They tend to trigger the other person’s wounded self with their own wounded self, but they often don’t recognize their own wounded self. Here is an example of this:
Allison asks:
“How do you suggest telling someone they’re doing something that hurts your feelings and to ask them to stop? My husband recently accused me of finding a way to blame my depressed feelings on him. He believes that I wake up in the morning feeling depressed and then try to find something to pin it on. My experience is that if he says something that bothers me and I don’t say something right when it happens or if he tells me I’m being defensive and I shut down, that I often wake up feeling resentful the next day, but when I tell him that I’m upset he gets defensive and tells me I have a problem.” Continue reading “How Can I Get Him To Stop Hurting Me?”
Dating provides many opportunities to learn and grow. Discover some of what you can learn that will be very valuable for you.
Franklin writes:
“I am a 68 year old male who was married for 27 years and now divorced 15 years. I have fallen in love with a woman after only three months of dating, but she is disengaging by being incommunicado. I am mystified since things were going so well then suddenly she is not available. What to do?”
Franklin, as hard as it is, there is nothing you can do about her disengaging from you. You need to be very compassionate toward your own heartbreak. Generally, people do this when they get scared of intimacy. There are two major reasons they get scared: Continue reading Challenges of The Dating Scene
Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self?
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”~Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now
How often do you feel genuinely grateful for what you have in your life?
There is a big difference between acting grateful and feeling genuine gratitude in your heart.
Our ego wounded self, which is the part of us that wants control over our feelings, others and outcomes, loves the idea of acting grateful as a way to have control over manifesting abundance. The wounded self wants to believe that rattling off affirmations and statements of gratitude will give it this control. Continue reading The Foundation for Abundance
Do you love your partner but find that the intensity and intimacy have become muted? Discover why.
Patti asked the following question in one of my webinars on sexuality:
I am now going out with the man of my dreams. I have wanted to be in relationship with him for so long. We used to be friends and I would be so excited to see him. Yet now that we are in a relationship (5 months), I am quietly happy, but the level of excitement I used to have seems to have disappeared. I don’t seem to be able to access the range of emotions I ordinarily have. Would appreciate your insights. Thank you.
Are you afraid to go deeper into personal growth and learning? Discover why this might be so and what you can do about it.
I’d had three phone sessions with Anika when I decided it was time to approach her about her intent. In my experience, she believed she was open to learning, but was completely closed to learning about herself. We were getting stuck because when I would reflect something to her about herself, she would get defensive, obviously feeling attacked by me. Continue reading Do You Have The Courage to Learn About Yourself?
Where does your mind generally go – to the obstacles or to the goal? You CAN change your mindset if it is stopping you from having what you want.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford
What happens for you when you get a great idea about something you want to do—a new business, a creative project, a vacation and so on? If it really is a great idea for you, you likely feel a sense of excitement about it. I’ve learned that my feelings of excitement let me know that this idea is a good one for me—that it is on the right track regarding what is in my highest good.
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